My Cardboard Balcony

I Just Wanted My Teeth by Belinda Roddie I just wanted my teeth to be pristine - healthy and strong, no inconsistencies - and I wanted them to be squeaky clean. Turns out I had two shallow cavities, so I guess my perfect record was ruined just a week before I turned twenty-nine. Also, the dentist said I was doin' a number on my teeth - the clench and grind was a plague upon me! Thus, I shelled out quite a lot of cash for some fillings and a cheap night guard, 'cause God knows with no doubt how I couldn't pay over half a grand for a professional impression. Well, a dental plan saves all my teeth from Hell.

Bruxism by Belinda Roddie There was a young man anxious as can be who ground his teeth before he had his tea and he clenched all day and he gnashed all night 'til his molars were shrapnel of yellow and white

I don't drink margaritas anymore, or eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, because my metabolism has all the agility of a snail caught in a sticky quagmire on a warm and rainy June evening. I feast on salt and arugula and watch everyone else get thinner on beef and beer, and I wonder to myself just when my body decided to rebel against me. When it decided that occasional indulgence was toxic, and it needed to survive thirteen simultaneous Russian winters.

Twenty-Five Spiders by Belinda Roddie Twenty-five spiders spun webs out of steel using soft silk for their axles and wheels and when all was done you could see that they'd strung all their patterns in the shape of an automobile Twenty-five spiders had labored all night while the moon was still full and the stars were still bright all their legs tied in knots bodies gleaming with spots just so their toil and trouble could shine in the light Twenty-five spiders formed assembly lines making bones out of fluff and elastic spines In their brand new sedans they started a new brand and sped off down their roads built from cobwebs and twine

The site was still under construction, so I couldn't begin building my art profile. It was frustrating; I had been using the same web page to sell everything I produced. My paintings, my shirts, my phone covers - all of it was easily processed and shipped off using the website in question. Now, however, it was down, with no definite time for when it'd come back. And my funds were starting to deplete.

Special Delivery by Belinda Roddie When you order a pizza, you should not expect a baby to be sitting in a box on your doorstep Nor should you be planning to birth a child in the hospital, but wind up with a hot pizza pie Because there's absolutely no boost to your appetite from a cheese-drizzled infant with anchovies on the side And though pizza is not what a new mother would like perhaps the old midwife would care for a slice