Tonight's Poet Corner: Life Hacks

Life Hacks
by Belinda Roddie

I've cut corners an awful lot,
but only because
I'm no good at snipping between
the lines, and I'm clumsy enough
to cut myself with scissors
rather than cut paper with 'em.

I've skipped out on dance lessons
but can manage to stay on rhythm.
I never learned social norms,
yet the code switching is as real
as flicking a lightswitch at
a bored high schooler's bedroom rave.

And I'm pretty sure that wooing
the fairer sex was never a class I
took before, during, or after
college, but the lady I have slung
across my arm is sure attractive,
and wicked smart to boot.

I can switch accents on a whim,
even if I can only trick the gullible.
My jokes are funny to those with
minds already dredged with gutter
water. And once the rain's cleared,
I'll teach you how to fake sunshine.

After all, it's one of the main reasons
I'm alive: To pretend that everything's
warm, and everything's steady, and I've
got a good head on my shoulders
without feeling like a few rusty
screws are A. loose, or B. missing entirely.