Freeform Friday: WTF, Google Autocomplete?

WTF, Google Autocomplete?
by Belinda Roddie

I once had a lass
who tried to assassinate Ronald Reagan,
but she failed me.

I once knew a man
who ate all the Nutella
and said, "Marry me, Juliet,"
while Juliet is on the balcony.

I once was lost,
but I found myself watching the world,
which was an achievement of the Roman Empire,
fighting with my family,
but never forgotten.

I never snitch on Daddy,
and I never got a stimulus check.
I always thought I might be bad,
and I sometimes wish I was dead.

But in the end,
it doesn't even matter.