My Cardboard Balcony

They Said the World Would End by Belinda Roddie They said the world would end tomorrow, but they guessed that it would happen back in May, and before that, they said two years ago was certainly the climax of all days. In nineteen ninety-four the claim was thrown into a book, and still it wasn't right. The man had grown more senile, but assured to everyone that he had seen the light. And all the while, he'd taken money from each sorry schmuck who still believed in him. They still pay their devotions to the cause until their pockets only hold their lint. No matter what, tomorrow I will say: Get out the booze for pseudo-rapture day!

I could relate in more ways than one. Like he always chewed gum with his mouth closed. And he kept his hair up in one or two tufts, never more. He liked to ride his bicycle at night without a light. He wore one contact lens. He preferred cats over dogs. He died each night in bed and had to be revived by the gift of electricity. I could definitely relate.