My Cardboard Balcony

The Newest Villain by Belinda Roddie The newest villain, Jason Evil, was attempting to upstage Viper Victor. The two challenged each other to many petty duels to sort out trivial things, like territory or business mergers as per the blueprints for conquest of each nation (Jason Evil wanted Scotland, but Viper Victor liked Glasgow too much). The hard part was, neither villain truly won each face-off, their weapons choosing to misfire, or their plans thwarted by some bland face of heroism or some dumb law enforcement techniques. So, really, all they did was dick around every passing day.

I was firmly anchored now, my boots practically glued to the floor, as I pushed aside the now empty platter where the entire pizza had lain. Pounds upon pounds of meat, cheese, and bread, and I could feel myself becoming heavier and heavier on the inside. On the outside, however, I was still the same - wiry, almost gaunt. I was trying to nourish myself. I was failing. "Beer?" "Yes," I said. "A pitcher."