My Cardboard Balcony

Hat Abuse by Belinda Roddie There was a misguided gentleman who sliced off the top of a bowler hat like opening a wool skull and revealing the cerebral curls underneath. And he claimed it was so the sunlight could hit his scalp just right to warm him up on cool days. His next door neighbor, a fancy hat enthusiast, bellowed, "Then don't wear anything on your head at all, you idiot, and stop ruining clothing articles!" Then the neighbor proceeded to crack the bowler abuser right across the very exposed part of his victim-turned crown with her beautiful snake-headed cane.

If she sold seashells by the seashore, then that would mean she was taking natural relics of the sacred beach, and that would anger the gods something terrible. Those deities got miffed pretty easily if any fragment of land they deemed "theirs" was used for profit, so as far as I'm concerned, that juvenile shell vendor may get into deep trouble. But what do I know? I'm just overanalyzing a tongue twister so I can waste time in speech therapy.