My Cardboard Balcony

Who Scripted This? by Belinda Roddie He starts with a bagel breakfast, many bagels, with five different kinds of cream cheese. He has to be quirky that way. Smear plenty of topping on his face and hands, staining sundried basil nut squash delight. He forgets his house keys. Trips on the way down the porch steps. Breaks a leg. Calls 911. Gets a friend instead. Impossible? Not so, say the great gods of cinematic nuisance. Give him comic relief in his moment of pain and don't forget the sexy neighbor!

Before the lobster clamped down on Uncle Henry's front teeth, Josh burned both hands on the pot roast. Before Josh burned both hands on the pot roast, Mom was yelled about how much she didn't love him anymore. Before Mom yelled at Dad about how much she didn't love him anymore, I banged my sister's best friend upstairs in my childhood bedroom. And before that, cookies.