My Cardboard Balcony

by Belinda Roddie "Can you compete in the Paralympics if you have too many  limbs?" "...What?" "I mean, think about it. Say I was born with three legs. That might be pretty cool initially, right? But then I realize something." "Um." "I can't run properly with three legs." " Um." "I get all tangled up with three legs. There's no way I can compete in track and field. Relays. Marathons. Hurdles. I couldn't do it!" "John, I - " "So I figure, that'd be considered a handicap, right? Having too many legs. So can you compete in the Paralympics in that kind of situation?" "..." "..." "..." "...Well, dude?" "I am...fairly... fairly convinced that the hypothetical situation you described is not something that has ever happened ever." "Hey, don't discriminate against tripedal people, man. They're...

He tried to run away from me, but I was too fast. He tried to hit me, but my blows were sharper and more damaging. He tried to cuss me out, but I extended my fingers and gripped the rough edges of his shirt collar, pulling the stiff fabric around his neck so he could barely breathe. "In my neighborhood," I warned him in a low growl, "your rebellion stops at my doorstep."