My Cardboard Balcony

Chevalier by Belinda Roddie Behind the seeded castle, you will find Chevalier, sucking on the scales of a scalped king cobra. He uses the venom as a sweet sauce to stain his teeth purple, and then prove he's a nobleman by color and color alone, my friend.

"I don't understand. I sent all the right signals." "Oh, really," scoffed Sylvia. "Like the way you winked at her?" "Oh, c'mon, it was endearing." "And the way you heckled her so you could buy her a drink? Not the other way around, might I add?" "She was being stuffy!" "And," Sylvia pressed on, "how much of an asshole you were for trying to touch her when she clearly said no?" "...You're acting like these are all bad things."