My Cardboard Balcony

An Ode To Arthropods by Belinda Roddie I kind of feel bad for spiders when it comes to Halloween; we tear down their actual homes and replace them with artificial webs that they certainly don't see artistic value in. And we definitely don't respect them for the high-value work they do for us pitiful humans. Say goodbye to flies and mosquitoes thanks to these arachnid bad boys. They eat the bad stuff so you don't have to! All I'm saying is, maybe don't attack the next spider you see. Especially when you're out trick-or-treating. Who knows, they might be a goddess protecting you from vampires. Or werewolves. Or unspeakable horrors playing tic tac toe in their graves before the dark moon rises.

Someone told me that candy corn was better than chocolate, and that is just wrong, you know? Like, hit the hammer with the nail, pour milk in before the cereal, deliver the mail to the mailman wrong. I mean, I dunno what sort of trick or treating nightmare escapades some folks have been on, but I'll take chocolate peanut butter, chocolate caramel, chocolate nuts, chocolate and anything over some pseudo-candy wax cones.