My Cardboard Balcony

I Woke Up by Belinda Roddie I woke up to a long and plaintive meow from the next door neighbor's big, surly cat, which seemed to want attention here and now without being chased by a baseball bat. I knew this grumpy tabby on the prowl was looking for some petting and some food, but when I came close, all it did was growl; its grouchy looks mimicked its rotten mood, though as it hopped inside on its bean-toes, it found my roommate and started to lick her face while she was attempting repose. "What the Hell?" she cried. "Man, that cat's a dick!" But instead of a meow, the cat said, "Herp," a hiccuping sound, while I just said, "Derp." I recollected myself with some grass to smoke, 'cause let me tell you, I'm no prude - I'm used to my roommate being too crass and to my friends being usually crude. The cat then locked its sights on a poor bird which rested on the pavement by a plum that had fallen from the ...

I was summoned for jury duty two weeks before my birthday, and this allegedly was a big case. Obviously, I couldn’t tell anyone what was happening, not even my wife, who was a lawyer and always was interested in litigation and criminal cases. I arrived at the civic center at 7:30 AM, way too early, and settled down with a book I had pulled from my office shelf. A stranger, younger than I was by probably about five years, sat down next to me.