Saturday's Storyteller: "I don't go out to restaurants so much as haunt them."
by Belinda Roddie "I don't go out to restaurants so much as haunt them." "Yeah. I know." "I mean, the bill can be so steep..." "Yep." "Especially the booze." "Uh-huh." "Always the goddamn expensive booze." "I hear ya." "So I hover around the tables a bit and look a bit sketch until someone leaves. Then I get the remains of their meal." "..." "John. John. I'm fucking with you." "I know, but...ew." "Ew?" "As in, ew, don't eat people's leftovers at restaurants. I mean, germs." "Oh, yeah. Of course you focus on the sanitary part of it, dude." "Well..." "And not the concept that I am joking about legitimately freaking people out from their tables to eat their stuff." "Well, that was a given." "Oh, fuck you." ...