My Cardboard Balcony

by Belinda Roddie "Wine is the best defense against goblins." "Is it, now?" "Oh, yeah. If you look at all the right sources, you'll find that fermented grapes are their biggest weakness. Splash some Cabernet in their faces, and they'll recoil like they've been burned by acid." "...You're saying this because you didn't like the bottle of wine I picked up from the store, aren't you?" " It's not a good wine!" "Look, I know you're finicky with your Cabs, but..." "You should understand my picky palate, Aaron." "Oh, I do." "Do you?" "Yep. I understand that you can never be satisfied." "Hey, I'm a connoisseur!" "You're a snob." "Same thing!" "Um, no." "Look it up in the thesaurus." "Sure. Is that the same place where you did your goblin research?" "Oh, fuck ...

I went to see Andy's standup comedy routine at the Loose Tooth Tavern on the corner of Fifth and Cain. Needless to say, he was a riot. He got two standing ovations and several people demanding an encore, and after he was finished, dozens of booze-brained fans asked for pictures and autographs. He had been very open about his identity - Hell, it contributed to most of his jokes - which at least I found very refreshing.