My Cardboard Balcony

by Belinda Roddie Dear Friends, Family, and Loved Ones, What a year it's been for the Dubreau family! We are so happy to be sending you another letter of warm wishes for the holidays and good fortune for the months to come. In honor of 2016, let's see how far each of the Dubreaus has come. Ronald Dubreau, Sr., is delighted to announce that he has just finished his butcher apprenticeship in November. After many thankless years working as a computer engineer, he has been cheerily chopping up and tenderizing the delicious meaty treats that we omnivores all adore to eat. He will be speaking with a loans consultant about opening up his own butcher shop, where he plans to sell enormous racks of lamb, whole chickens, and boar's heads. He highly recommends the Dubreau Roast he will be specializing - it's delicious! The secret ingredients are love and a healthy patriarchal environment. Cynthia Dubreau has been busy renovating the family home. Using her passion for design

As the brew that was 2016 began to simmer in the cauldron, I began to wonder if any of it was edible. Normally, people reacted differently to the annual stew - some loved it, some hated it, some even got sick from it. This time, however, felt different. I ladled up a good amount of the stuff from the pot and watched the steam rise from the metal. I inhaled the fumes, and suddenly I felt inclined to punch the nearest party guest in the face.