My Cardboard Balcony

by Belinda Roddie "I’m just saying, I think gummy sharks should taste like blood, not gelatin." "Why the Hell would you want that?" "It just makes it realistic, that's all." "...Realistic? To taste shark blood?" "I mean, have you had it? Maybe it's not bad." "...In a Mai Tai?" "Would it not truly be the Hawaii experience?" "No!" "Hmmm. I guess you're right." "Thank you." "Because gummy sharks chill around Australia." "..." "Not Hawaii. Yeah, I got my geography fucked up." "..." "Their meat's called 'flake' in Southern Australia. Did you know that?" "John." "Yeah?" "What the fuck are you talking about?!" "I'm talking 'bout gummy sharks, dude! Like, for real gummy sharks!" "So we're not talking about the candy?" &q

I didn't want to use a tired cliché, but a light bulb popped up above my head as I watched my friends scramble to jump start the van. I knew that we didn't have jumper cables, but I wondered if a little bit of scientific finagling would do the trick. "Wesley!" I cried. "Get me a screwdriver and a paper clip!" Wesley stared at me like I had two heads. Everyone else furrowed their brows.