My Cardboard Balcony

Little Accident by Belinda Roddie Spilling seltzer on my pants, I wish the bubbles would have lifted me up instead of weighing me down and making me wet in exactly the wrong way.

A happy marriage? What a novel concept! Luckily, I've got one of those, but sadly, my friend Howard doesn't. Nope, he's hitched to a cranky old white-haired curmudgeon with a badly deviated septum and an even worse attitude. I know he married him for the money, but sheesh, if I were gold digging, I still wouldn't want to touch said gold if it were buried in a massive mountain of shit. But they're rich, man. Dressed in suits while Howard's husband slowly decays in a bow tie and holding a bottle of Chardonnay.