My Cardboard Balcony

A Police Car Tailed Me by Belinda Roddie A police car tailed me, but even then did not flash its lights or let sirens wail, so I continued driving. Only when it followed me to my house did I pale and fear the absolute worst. The cop pulled his lanky frame from his seat, walked to me, and tapped on my front window while I mulled over what to say to evade a free ride to jail. I asked, "Officer, did I speed? Did I run a stop sign? Were my lights not on? I swear my phone battery died an hour ago. It's been one of those nights." The cop said, "Ma'am, you have done nothing wrong. Your radio just played an awesome song."

My grandfather had told me, long ago, that if I dug a hole right in the middle of town square, I'd unearth the secret suburban treasure. Of course, I figured he was just being kind of a jerk and trying to trick me, so I was very much surprised when I saw my girlfriend, hands stained with dirt and cheeks reddened with exertion, came charging into my apartment with a wooden chest. "He was right!" she panted. "The old bastard was right! I found the treasure!"