My Cardboard Balcony

Basket Head by Belinda Roddie A man with a basket for a head, a pair of forks for hands, and two surfboards for feet stumbled into a bar for a hot-cold drink that he couldn't drink. The barkeep couldn't stand the odd sight of him, so he threw a spider into the woven, screaming face of the fellow, who tumbled and rolled into the street, where he punctured several truck tires on impact.

"Oh, baby, hold me close. Kiss me everywhere." "Even the parts I don't want to kiss?" "Oh. Sorry. Do I need a shave?" "In more than one place." "Eesh. Hon. Just kiss me over the nice parts, then." "How about the nicest parts?" "Would you just cut the practical crap, take my sappiness at face value, and kiss me?" "Only if you say the magic words." "You're dead sexy." "Fair enough."