My Cardboard Balcony

LOADING: Program Amazeballs by Belinda Roddie Robot hipsters were infiltrating and disrupting the human race before it was cool I for one welcome our new silicon overlords as long as they wear tight jeans and listen to the best indie records

Some guys stole all the twenties from the cash register at my dad's liquor store, but when they tried to make a dash for it, they crossed paths with our adorable pit bull, Larry. Larry was, in reality, a total sweetheart, but it was enough to make the grown-ass dudes shriek like prima donnas and run the other way. The police were happy to cart them off to the local jail, and Larry got some treats out of it, so I'd say it was a good day for my big, lovable pooch.