My Cardboard Balcony

I'd Date You, But... by Belinda Roddie I'd date you, but you're not really my type, and though you've made a splash in Hollywood, I think I'm underwhelmed by all the hype, and dating me won't do you any good. I'd date you, but you have an attitude that, to me, is so toxic and absurd. You like to argue with me, and it's rude when you always demand the final word. I'd date you, but you're already taken by a sweet guy who dresses tastefully, and, for the record, he has always been there for you and your personality. I'd date you, but it simply wouldn't work. Wait, you would never date me? What a jerk!

I couldn't be a school counselor because I'd get too into the kids' heads. So far, I had made seven high schoolers weep in my office. I made another one hyperventilate. One complained of frequent nightmares. I was banned from Hope High School. I've never gone back. Well, that's a lie. I found a way back through the vents. I stay in the walls, where they can't see me. And I listen.