My Cardboard Balcony

I Leaned Forward And... by Belinda Roddie I kissed Robbie and felt his tongue turn to dust against my molars. I kissed Michelle, and it was like kissing the god of the sun - so warm, so inviting, so rich in light and energy! I kissed Edward, but his lips were stiff and ossified like bone. As if he'd never dreamed of loosening up to love a girl like me. I kissed Johanna under a street lamp, which blew out the moment her hand slipped under my shirt. She took me home, but I grew cold as soon as her body began its convulsions. I kissed Sammy, Manny, and Tammy - the triplets - all in a row at a birthday party. Sammy giggled, Manny cried, and Tammy coughed as if I had poisoned her. They all married their high school sweethearts, I had kissed each of said sweethearts at the senior prom behind cheap plastic photoshoot curtains. Finally, I kissed you, and it felt familiar, somehow. A sense of déjà vu   from all the flings I'd had before

I felt like flipping tables. I felt like breaking chairs. I felt like snapping plates and breaking all the silverware. I wanted to punch Father. I wanted to punch Mother. I wanted to punch both my cousins and make them punch each other. I just wanted to scream. I just wanted to cry. But after the rage subsided, I just wanted to die.