My Cardboard Balcony

While I can't say this was a decision long in the works, I think it's a good one. So here goes. Friends and lovelies, today marks the tenth anniversary since I started this freelance writing. It will also be the last day I update it. It has been a blast to write on this blog every single day. It has forced me to stay creative, produce writing, and share my work with all of you. I have been able to experiment with new styles and concepts with my poems, and disciplining my ability to write in a short amount of time or with a limited number of words has been eye-opening, to say the last. It's also been exhausting at times to maintain this blog. When I started it in 2011, I was fresh out of college, working odd jobs, and still living at home while continuing a long distance relationship. Now I'm a self-published author, I'm married, I'm working a full time teaching job, and I'm planning on raising a family. I have written even more plays and short works (even th...

So. I'm focusing on investigative journalism with my juniors. I'm making sure my sophomores can handle Of Mice and Men. I just adapted one of my favorite movies into a stage play and read it with my theater company (and got to play the main character). I then got to socialize with some good friends (and new friends, too). And now I. Am. Sleepy. But what else is new? Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.

So! Turns out I had a summer cold that kicked my ass for three days. I haven't been sick for over a year and a half, so it was definitely cause for some whiplash. I did get two COVID tests, and both came back negative. Woot. Teaching in person is still tiring. I'm allowing my students to socialize and take breaks and "naps" and all that. Also bringing them food - they appreciate it, but they also tear through it so darn quickly. Got to meet some parents on Zoom, too. Also sponsoring or co-sponsoring four clubs now. Help. I'm happy to be well for my three day weekend. Gonna see some friends, spend time with my wife and feline sons, take it easy. It's all I could ask for. Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.

I've been back teaching on campus for two weeks, and it's already felt like two months. Don't get me wrong - I'm so glad to be back. I love my students, and I love being able to socialize again. But I am seriously not used to it, and I am tired constantly. It also doesn't help that every time my allergies act up due to the smoky haze that is California, I think I have COVID. I'm planning on getting tested on Monday no matter what. Not taking any chances, no matter how small they may be, in regards to a potential breakthrough infection. I'm planning on a super relaxing weekend where it's okay for me to do nearly absolutely nothing. I'm very grateful to have that rest time, as I know many others don't. In writing news, getting to model poetry to my students is always a blast. Today, however, I was called a show-off by one of my students for writing three poems while they were tasked with writing one. Not a show-off, just...a person with a lot of ex...

Whew! Holy shit. I made it through my first week back teaching on an actual high school campus. My students are absolutely lovely. They're adapting quickly to this "new normal," and I'm grateful for it. I'm also happy with my new room, despite the previous occupant being an absolute garbage human being for a number of reasons (not something for me to talk about here, but happy to share in person over a cup of tea). I'm definitely still acclimating myself. Having a new cat so quickly after Spike's passing adds to the chaos quite a bit. Getting enough sleep is a trial all by itself, so I'm doing what I can to balance my work life and my recreational activities. One step at a time, I suppose. In other news, I'll be able to see a good friend in person tomorrow, and I'll be doing some good old-fashioned Dungeons & Dragons. May as well enjoy myself before the school year gets too crazy. Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.

Returning to campus to teach. A new classroom. Masks required. No eating indoors. Rigid seating charts. Lots of uncertainty. Here goes nothing. Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.

I go back to work in five days. fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.

Eh. Same as last week's introspection, but with seeing an old friend and reading Shakespeare's Richard III thrown into the mix. Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.

Not much to report, honestly. Still updating this blog. Still trying to enjoy the rest of my break before I return to in-person teaching. Still having a good time with friends and loved ones. Still doting on my terminally ill cat Spike while also cooing over Binx. Time's messing with me. I'd like for things to just...pause for a bit, y'know? Give me an extra six or so hours a day to cuddle with the wife, or drink tea, or listen to music, or sleep. While the rest of the world stops turning and everyone can get some rest... Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.

Hi. Friends are great. Rejection sensitivity dysphoria sucks. Don't invest in an MLM. Sleep well. And always hydrate. Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.

Bold of you to assume that I can be introspective when it's still eighty degrees outside. Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.

Weird week. It's like both my body and brain are in flux. I'm tending to a terminally ill cat, canceling Pacific Northwest road trip plans, sleeping for hours at a time but then socializing for hours afterward, actually doing some writing beyond this blog but then stopping at a certain point, filming but then not filming, celebrating Pride as openly queer for the tenth year in a row but also getting sick and tired of rainbow capitalism... Oh, it's July now? Okay. Cool, time. Great. Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.

Okay, what the fuck, people. I wanted to just unwind this week, focus on turning thirty-two and enjoying adventures with friends. But it just had to be ruined, didn't it? Jesus Christ, I am sick and tired of emotionally abusive people. I am sick and tired of members of my family and loved ones being emotionally abused. I am sick and tired of seeing members of my family be emotionally abusive while putting other emotionally abusive people on a pedestal. I don't give a shit if it's unintentional. Abuse is abuse. I'm not obligated to tell you about every aspect of my life. You're not owed my secrets. You don't get to guilt me for things you yourself can control and improve upon. And for fuck's sake, stop acting like you know everything and trust the people and the research! There are people I love who refuse to learn and grow. Like they're really teaching me something when they can't even deprogram their own prejudices and false assumptions. Give. Me. A...

Man! This has been a crazy awesome week! Okay, so here's the deal: I've been on my first official road trip with two dear friends from my TikTok shenanigans. The goal was to move them in together, and we've already done a lot of unpacking and enjoyed ourselves. I am so grateful to have had this opportunity to travel safely and meet some incredible people in person. Also, I'm gonna be thirty-two in three days. I've always liked the number 32. Not sure why. It just feels solid. I've accomplished a lot. I'm in an amazing marriage. I've learned and loved and grown into a person I never thought I'd become, even as I navigate things like online teaching and doing palliative care for an ailing pet. And now I'm going to crash on the couch and enjoy the fact that my Colorado friend has central air. Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.

Introspection.exe has stopped working. Processing must be reinitiated and evaluated. Please stand by.

Okay, yes, I know I actually posted this on Saturday, not on Friday. It's been a hell of a week, all right? Our new cat, Spike, poor thing, had to be taken to the vet for an infection in his mouth. Biopsy results arrive on Monday, and I'm really hoping it's not cancerous. He's recovering steadily with antibiotics. Three more school days left, and on Sunday, I'm flying to Denver! More info on that next week. It's Pride Month. I'm gay. I'm non-binary. They/them pronouns. Love how far we've come, but acknowledge how far we have to go. Light at the end of the tunnel, y'all. Looking forward to my break. Oh, and I'll be 32 in a matter of weeks. Wooooot. ...I don't know how to finish this introspection. Oh, well. Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.

I'm just going to leave this here instead of going too much into how I'm feeling lately. Man, I already miss being on vacation. But hey, summer's coming up fast. This school year has been a whole bag of socially distanced madness. So...yeah. I'm glad it's ending. Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.

Ten years together. Seven years since I proposed. Nearly five years since we've been married. These past few days have been so amazing. We have needed this. We have deserved this. Incredible food. Beautiful views. Perfect weather. And it ain't over yet. We got to visit where I got down on one knee and where we had the wedding. We got to go back to some of our favorite restaurants. We got to just relax and spend time together. I got to give my wife a brand new ring. We're not far from home, but the time spent away from everything means the world. I love you, Arden. Let's do this for another ten years times ten. Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.

So close to the school year being over. So close. So close. SO FREAKING CLOSE. Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.

Okay. Better week. It was a better week. Thank goodness. Certainly not perfect - my chosen family is beautiful, though I have to have some conversations with some members of my actual blood family. But I'm pushing forward. I'm moving onward. Just gonna enjoy this three day weekend. Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.