My Cardboard Balcony

This New Year by Belinda Roddie This new year, I will conquer all my fears and take on challenges like they are no more than pesky flies buzzing by my ears, and not like dragons snorting flame and smoke in my direction. This year, I will eat more healthfully, and I will exercise until I'm powerful enough to beat a giant in a fight. As the time flies past me, I'll then get a girlfriend - no sweat! I just have to build confidence and try out dating again - it's a breeze, I'll bet, and one bad outing won't mean that I'll die. This new year, I think of the risks I'll take - eh, or I'll just resolve to eat more cake.

"Hey, Mom?" "Yeah?" "I've got a weird feeling about this." "Oh, yeah?" "Something tells me that dousing the Christmas tree in gasoline and setting it on fire isn't exactly the most expedient way to get rid of it." My mom got a funny look on her face. The lighter in her hand was tiny and cute. "Look, honey - I have no time or energy to drive it to the recycling center. Just soak it in the stuff already, and let's move it."