My Cardboard Balcony

North Pole Crisis by Belinda Roddie The sleigh's brakes don't work quite right, and the elves are sick of toys. It's three days more to get the gifts made for all the girl and boys. Yet Santa's binged on nog again, with cookie crumbs stuck in his beard. Depression's hit him way too soon. This season's gonna be weird.

"A stunt double?" cried Lorry skeptically. "What the Hell makes you think I need one of those?" "Miss Ames," the director protested, "I understand that you've been in a lot of action films. The script, however, calls for a lot of acrobatics and risky moves..." "To Hell with risky. Did you not see me in 'Selma's Revenge'? I could wrestle a live bear if you brought me one now. No stunt double. I'll quit on the spot if I have one."