Saturday's Storyteller: "The galapagos raptor is the deadliest of raptors, but it can always be subdued by a large dose of peanut butter."

by Belinda Roddie

"The galapagos raptor is the deadliest of raptors, but it can always be subdued by a large dose of peanut butter."

"..."

"Did you know that, Aaron?"

"...When, and how much?"

"Huh?"

"Drinking."

"You know, surprisingly, I haven't had that much."

"...Seriously?"

"Yeah. Just a couple beers, maybe two shots of spiced rum, but that's really it."

"...I don't believe you."

"No, I'm serious! Check the recycling box in the kitchen."

"I swear, John, if you're lying..."

"I'm not!"

"But..."

"Aaron, I am stringing together coherent sentences right now. Doesn't that tell you I'm just a little bit tipsy?"

"...Fine. I'll check."

"Okay, and I'll wait."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"How much is that doggy in the window? Arf, arf! The one with the...oh, shit, what are the lyrics again..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Yo, ho, yo, ho, a pirate's life for -"

"Aaron!"

"'Sup?"

"You lied to me."

"No, I didn't."

"Yeah, you did. You said two beers. I saw three bottles."

"...Okay, three beers. So?"

"So..."

"...So I'm still only at a five on the scale."

"Five out of what?"

"I dunno. Twelve?"

"You mean ten."

"No, I mean twelve."

"Erm..."

"Because there's drunk, and then there's John drunk."

"Fair point. Okay, so...you're tipsy."

"Yeah."

"...Is it bad to feel relieved?"

"No, it's not, Aaron. No, it's not."

"Oh. Okay."

"Yep."

"...Cool."

"Yep."

"Well, um...I'll be in my room, if you need anything."

"Sure."

"...John?"

"Yeah?"

"Is it true about the peanut butter and the galapagos raptor?"

"...Are you serious?"

"I..."

"And you think I'm weird when I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, but..."

"How much have you drank today, sir?"

"Nothing."

"So you're weird sober!"

"No, no, it's just...I was testing you. On your alcohol level."

"...Dude, I was just being silly."

" 'Kay. Fine."

"...Hey, Aaron."

"Yeah."

"Want some peanut butter?"

This week's prompt was provided by Arden Kilzer.