Saturday's Storyteller: "The child's name would be Spamlet."
by Belinda Roddie
The child's name would be Spamlet. It was decreed by Pork McNugget of Second Street Hill (his real name being Parker McPhee), with his wife Agnes McPhee (who didn't desire to take on a protein-related name).
Spamlet's full name was Spamlet Pork McNugget McPhee. Agnes wanted his middle name to be Richard, after her late father, but Pork was entirely against it.
Come to think of it, when the bags from Burger King started accumulating, Pork was looking a little porky after all.
Spamlet first adored his name, but when it got to high school, he was ridiculed constantly for the poor choice in meat product. So he first changed his name to Ham, Hammy as a nickname. The result was the school bullies stuffing processed lunch meat down his trousers.
So he went by Spencer instead.
Spencer grew up to be a finance director at a law firm in Kentucky. Incidentally, his workplace was situated right next to a strip mall that included a dollar store and a Kentucky Fried Chicken. Every day, his co-workers Bobby and Donald would grab two buckets of spicy crispy chicken and challenge each other to gobble down three double downs at a time. The smell of poultry wasn't enticing to Spencer, however, and instead he'd go down to the dollar store.
"Seven cans, please," he'd tell the clerk. Then he'd pack them up in plastic and take them home.
He would find his father watching football in the den, fat feet propped on a fat ottoman, a beer disappearing into the folds of his stomach. He went by Parker again these days, after Agnes's death. Spencer noticed his father didn't even raise his head as he walked in.
"Got spam again, Dad," he said, shaking the plastic bag in Parker's face.
Finally a smile. "That's my little Spamlet."
This week's prompt was provided by Daniel Bulone.
The child's name would be Spamlet. It was decreed by Pork McNugget of Second Street Hill (his real name being Parker McPhee), with his wife Agnes McPhee (who didn't desire to take on a protein-related name).
Spamlet's full name was Spamlet Pork McNugget McPhee. Agnes wanted his middle name to be Richard, after her late father, but Pork was entirely against it.
Come to think of it, when the bags from Burger King started accumulating, Pork was looking a little porky after all.
Spamlet first adored his name, but when it got to high school, he was ridiculed constantly for the poor choice in meat product. So he first changed his name to Ham, Hammy as a nickname. The result was the school bullies stuffing processed lunch meat down his trousers.
So he went by Spencer instead.
Spencer grew up to be a finance director at a law firm in Kentucky. Incidentally, his workplace was situated right next to a strip mall that included a dollar store and a Kentucky Fried Chicken. Every day, his co-workers Bobby and Donald would grab two buckets of spicy crispy chicken and challenge each other to gobble down three double downs at a time. The smell of poultry wasn't enticing to Spencer, however, and instead he'd go down to the dollar store.
"Seven cans, please," he'd tell the clerk. Then he'd pack them up in plastic and take them home.
He would find his father watching football in the den, fat feet propped on a fat ottoman, a beer disappearing into the folds of his stomach. He went by Parker again these days, after Agnes's death. Spencer noticed his father didn't even raise his head as he walked in.
"Got spam again, Dad," he said, shaking the plastic bag in Parker's face.
Finally a smile. "That's my little Spamlet."
This week's prompt was provided by Daniel Bulone.
I am constantly surprised, amazed, and awed by your ability to tell such a rich story in so few words. <3
ReplyDelete