Friday's Whims of the Time Traveler 52.0: April 21st, 2009
Passenger's Side
by Belinda Roddie
“Leslie?”
“What?”
“Are we there yet?”
“No, we’re not gonna be there for another half hour.”
“Oh…hey, Leslie?”
“What?”
“Are we there now?”
“Has it been a half hour yet, Lily?”
“Sorry…hey, Leslie?”
“No, we’re not there yet!”
“But I’m so bored!”
“Find a way to entertain yourself, then. Listen to music or something.”
“Okay. …‘Since you’ve been gooooone…I can breathe for the first tiiiime…”
“Lily!”
“What?”
“I said listen to music, not sing to it!”
“What? You’re such a....I mean…ugh!”
“At least I’m not a little brat.”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“What did you say?”
“Nothing! Go back to your Kelly Clarkson or whatever you were listening to.”
“Fine. …Dad’s going to be there, right?”
“Are you seriously still talking?”
“But is he gonna be there?”
“Yeah. He’ll be there.”
“What about Grandpa?”
“Hmmm. I dunno.”
“But Grandpa’s so cool! He can’t not be there!”
“I didn’t say he wouldn’t be there. I said I didn’t know.”
“You think he’ll have presents?”
“Um, no, that’d be inappropriate.”
“Why?”
“Well, you don’t give presents when…well…”
“Why not?”
“You just don’t, okay? It’s not a good idea."
“But why is it – ”
“It’s just not, okay, Lily! Jesus!”
“Sorry.”
“Whatever, can you just be quiet? I gotta concentrate on the directions.”
“Okay…hey, Les – "
“Lillian! Can you shut up for two freaking seconds?”
“You don’t have to be mean!”
“I just need to focus, okay?”
“But you don’t have to be mean.”
“Lily, please just be quiet.”
“And don’t call me Lillian.”
“Oh, really? What, you don’t like it, Lillian?”
“Hey, don’t do that!”
“What? What am I doing, Lillian?”
“Stop calling me that!”
“Why not, Lillian?”
“I said stop it!”
“Lillian, Lillian, Lillian!”
“You’re such a jerk!”
“I can just leave you on the side of the road, you know.”
“You wouldn’t!”
“Then shut up so I can…oh, shoot. “
“What?”
“Was that the Rowland exit we just passed?”
“I don’t know! I wasn’t looking at the signs!”
“Oh, God, it was, wasn’t it? Damn it, I missed it! Now we’re gonna be late!”
“I didn’t do anything!”
“Oh, sure you didn’t! Now where am I supposed to go?”
“I hate it when you drive! You’re so bad at it!”
“Oh, sorry, didn’t think I was supposed to be a pro after one year of driving!”
“I wish Mom was driving.”
“Sorry, but I’m doing it.”
“I wish Mom were here!”
“Well, she’s not, okay?”
“I want Mom!”
“She’s not fucking here! Okay?! She’s not. HERE.”
“I hate you! I hate you!”
“Okay, I’m pulling over until you calm down. Okay? Okay, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Calm down. Christ.”
“…Leslie, is Mom gonna die?”
“I don’t know, Lily.”
“If Dad’s there, does that mean she’s gonna die?”
“No! Why would you say that?”
“I just thought…Dad only sees Mom when something’s really wrong. I mean, really, really wrong.”
“I know. I’m gonna start driving again, okay?”
“Leslie, are hospitals scary?”
“…Kind of. You’ll be fine. Everyone’s really nice.”
“Okay. …Leslie?”
“Yeah?”
"How much longer until we get there?”
The work you see here has not been edited nor altered since April 21st, 2009.
by Belinda Roddie
“Leslie?”
“What?”
“Are we there yet?”
“No, we’re not gonna be there for another half hour.”
“Oh…hey, Leslie?”
“What?”
“Are we there now?”
“Has it been a half hour yet, Lily?”
“Sorry…hey, Leslie?”
“No, we’re not there yet!”
“But I’m so bored!”
“Find a way to entertain yourself, then. Listen to music or something.”
“Okay. …‘Since you’ve been gooooone…I can breathe for the first tiiiime…”
“Lily!”
“What?”
“I said listen to music, not sing to it!”
“What? You’re such a....I mean…ugh!”
“At least I’m not a little brat.”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“What did you say?”
“Nothing! Go back to your Kelly Clarkson or whatever you were listening to.”
“Fine. …Dad’s going to be there, right?”
“Are you seriously still talking?”
“But is he gonna be there?”
“Yeah. He’ll be there.”
“What about Grandpa?”
“Hmmm. I dunno.”
“But Grandpa’s so cool! He can’t not be there!”
“I didn’t say he wouldn’t be there. I said I didn’t know.”
“You think he’ll have presents?”
“Um, no, that’d be inappropriate.”
“Why?”
“Well, you don’t give presents when…well…”
“Why not?”
“You just don’t, okay? It’s not a good idea."
“But why is it – ”
“It’s just not, okay, Lily! Jesus!”
“Sorry.”
“Whatever, can you just be quiet? I gotta concentrate on the directions.”
“Okay…hey, Les – "
“Lillian! Can you shut up for two freaking seconds?”
“You don’t have to be mean!”
“I just need to focus, okay?”
“But you don’t have to be mean.”
“Lily, please just be quiet.”
“And don’t call me Lillian.”
“Oh, really? What, you don’t like it, Lillian?”
“Hey, don’t do that!”
“What? What am I doing, Lillian?”
“Stop calling me that!”
“Why not, Lillian?”
“I said stop it!”
“Lillian, Lillian, Lillian!”
“You’re such a jerk!”
“I can just leave you on the side of the road, you know.”
“You wouldn’t!”
“Then shut up so I can…oh, shoot. “
“What?”
“Was that the Rowland exit we just passed?”
“I don’t know! I wasn’t looking at the signs!”
“Oh, God, it was, wasn’t it? Damn it, I missed it! Now we’re gonna be late!”
“I didn’t do anything!”
“Oh, sure you didn’t! Now where am I supposed to go?”
“I hate it when you drive! You’re so bad at it!”
“Oh, sorry, didn’t think I was supposed to be a pro after one year of driving!”
“I wish Mom was driving.”
“Sorry, but I’m doing it.”
“I wish Mom were here!”
“Well, she’s not, okay?”
“I want Mom!”
“She’s not fucking here! Okay?! She’s not. HERE.”
“I hate you! I hate you!”
“Okay, I’m pulling over until you calm down. Okay? Okay, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Calm down. Christ.”
“…Leslie, is Mom gonna die?”
“I don’t know, Lily.”
“If Dad’s there, does that mean she’s gonna die?”
“No! Why would you say that?”
“I just thought…Dad only sees Mom when something’s really wrong. I mean, really, really wrong.”
“I know. I’m gonna start driving again, okay?”
“Leslie, are hospitals scary?”
“…Kind of. You’ll be fine. Everyone’s really nice.”
“Okay. …Leslie?”
“Yeah?”
"How much longer until we get there?”
The work you see here has not been edited nor altered since April 21st, 2009.
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