Saturday's Storyteller: "Maybe if you didn't drink so often, we wouldn't get in these situations!"

by Belinda Roddie

"Maybe if you didn't drink so often, we wouldn't get in these situations!"

"What, you don't like this?"

"I'd rather be in the sweaty scrotum of Texas than be here!"

"That's only because you're nervous!"

"Shut up!"

"Look, I don't see what the big deal is!"

"John. You got into the Irish whiskey. Again. You dragged me to Pride..."

"You were totally into the junk piercing booth!"

"You have a little run-in with an 'old college friend'..."

"Like I was supposed to know he was equally as flaming."

"And now we're expected to dance our scantily clad asses off like Chippendale studs in this sketchy club?!"

"I like this club! They serve great appletinis."

"I don't care if they sell liquid gold! I'm half-naked in a speedo and collar! This is awkward as fuck!"

"Aaron."

"WHAT?"

"You can leave any time, however you want, and do whatever you want. You don't have to stay here."

"..."

"You don't! I mean it!"

"I just didn't want this to happen to begin with."

"Why? I'm having fun. Don't you like it when I have fun?"

"I'm not having fun."

"Then leave!"

"You don't get it!"

"What don't I get?"

"...This friend of yours...is he taken?"

"...What?"

"Is. He. Taken."

"Aaron, I am way too out of it to be interro-ga-tated right now."

"...Interrogated."

"I know what I said!"

"Is that guy taken?"

"Wha...dude. Are you...are you jealous?"

"..."

"You're jealous, Aaron!"

"I didn't say that..."

"My best friend in the whole wide world is jealous that I've got a sexy homo ogling me!"

"Shut up! ShutupshutupshutUP!"

"You are so freaking adorable when you're jealous!"

"JOHN!"

"You are so helpless, man!"

"I will strangle you with this sequined bowtie!"

"No way, it looks great on you."

"I can't believe this is happening!"

"Hey. Aaron. Tell you what."

"God, what."

"I think I know what'll make you feel better."

"A mint julep with extra bourbon?"

"Getting on the dance floor and shaking that sexy booty for everyone!"

"John, this is embarrassing..."

"C'mon! Make Ronaldo jealous! He'll be shit-faced and watching!"

"I don't have a six pack!"

"You don't need to! Dance with me, you sexy, envious beast!"

"You owe me so hard for this!"

"Dance, baby! Dance!"

This week's prompt was provided by Arden Kilzer.