Saturday's Storyteller: "Jezebel, my pet iguana, silently waits for my demise."

by Belinda Roddie

Jezebel, my pet iguana, silently waits for my demise.

I am convinced that her murder plot for other pets of mine in the past have involved dry plants she didn't desire to eat, a cup of stale water, and some traces of fecal matter. My mother says that this combination is in no way lethal, but I have stressed to her that my pet snake, Oliver, died in a similar fashion. I believe Jezebel felt it was a rivalry of attention that had to end.

In my case, however, she does not seem to want to actively end my feeble existence. I believe she wishes for me to fritter my life away in the fashion I have taken on, and slowly but surely, I shall disregard my diet.  I wonder if she is quietly praying for Mother Nature to destroy all of humanity with a super typhoon. That will at least leave Jezebel with some fresh water.

I've tried giving Jezebel away in fear of my own safety or sanity, but to no avail. My best friend Jonathan does not like reptiles. My other friend, Emily, already has two frogs and a handful of lizards. My sister prefers cats, while my brother more appreciates rottweilers. I am left with this green, evil-eyed montrosity until either she wastes away or I do. We'll see who wins.

Tonight, Jezebel has not moved. She is certainly not dead, but she watches me disdainfully as I work on my economics essay. Perhaps she thinks that if I strain my mind hard enough, the very act of writing will cause me to break a blood vessel.

An iguana can only dream.

This week's prompt was provided by Daniel Bulone.