Tonight's Poet Corner: Introspection
Welp, Thanksgiving has come and gone. I've eaten my fair share of turkey and pie, drunk too much cider for my own good, helped sell a plethora of books despite some rookie mistakes, and spent lots of quality time with family, friends, and mo chuisle.
I have discovered, as an adult, that it is far, far too easy to cling to the negative aspects of life because they are so blatant and intrusive in your day to day routine. For instance, I still need more hours at my current job. My budget is still very small, which means money is tight. I'm not exactly doing much to lose weight and become healthier. I don't have a huge circle of friends. I miss the people I adore in Southern California. I don't know how I'm going to manage getting into a teaching credential program, timewise or moneywise. I'm uninspired in a lot of my writing lately, especially music-wise. And of course, my anxiety does wonders for making me worry about the most insignificant, or most unproductive, things.
So now that I've crammed the negative into one big ball of text like wadding up a piece of paper and flinging it to the side, let's look at - big shocker - what I'm thankful for.
First of all, I am thankful for my job. As you know, this year I was stung pretty badly in terms of my career path. Because of certain circumstances driving me away from my expected pattern of school jobs, my already existing guilt complex, massive and swollen as it is, has become more raw and exposed. Therefore, in my current job, when I make mistakes, I feel insanely, insanely bad for making them. Today, during Black Friday sales, I goofed on a few transactions and relayed to my coworkers how sorry I was. Their answer? Don't worry about it, because to them, I was an amazing worker.
The team I work with, along with their wonderful threshold for forgiveness and understanding, is incredible. I have never gotten along so well with any staff in my past jobs. Being at the bookstore, despite only technically working part-time, is so comfortable in so many ways due to both my crew and the customers. I couldn't be more grateful to have them in my life, and to have them mentor me as I grow and improve as a bookseller.
I am also thankful for my friends and family. Some friends and family of mine I barely see. Some friends and family I randomly communicate with online or on the phone. Some friends and family I spend time with sporadically. Yes, obviously I am not having a lot of huge hang-outs or going to parties. But the fact that I have these people in my life, either hundreds of miles away or just down the street, is great. Heck, I had two of my coworkers call themselves my friends, and it was awesome. So thank you to my buddies, as well as my relatives, my parents for being so supportive as I try to achieve independence as an adult, my brother, and of course, my sister, who I get to live with now and pester all the time! I mean, love all the time, of course. Ahem.
I'm thankful for a lot of small things, which I will mercilessly crush into one big, intimidating paragraph. I'm thankful for having a decent singing voice. I'm thankful for having skills with instruments. I'm thankful for making money and having my own apartment, living in a city in a state in a country that may have problems, but still manages to provide (some) good things to (at least some of) its people. I'm thankful for good food and good drinks and good company. I'm thankful for walks and music players and cameras. I'm thankful for nerdy things like Star Wars and Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings, and dressing up in suits and being able to express myself. I'm thankful that I can legally marry in California despite my homosexuality. I'm thankful for independent bookstores. I'm thankful for local business. I'm thankful for authors like Neil Gaiman and Albert Camus and Eavan Boland and John Green. I'm thankful that I can walk into a deli near my workplace and be greeted by name. I'm thankful for cat videos. I'm thankful for puns. I'm thankful for my fifteen-year-old dog. I'm thankful for healthcare under my parents' plan until I'm twenty-six. I'm thankful that chronic sinusitis is my only main ailment. I'm thankful for winning pool tournaments at holiday parties and being able to spend one hundred dollars at a restaurant as the grand prize. I'm thankful for my manager, and my assistant manager. I'm thankful for being able to come home every day, scour through ridiculous social networking sites and videos, and be able to collapse with a good book (or a stressful book, like Ulysses, which I will finish, I promise). I'm thankful that I have my own bed to sleep in, and someone to sleep beside.
Yes. I could not forget mo chuisle. I am thankful for my girlfriend, the love of my life, who I have now been with for two and a half years. I am looking forward to what's in store for us next, especially now that December is coming and we can safely say that it's the Christmas season without the big box stores shoving holiday cheer down our gullets like leftover mashed potatoes. I have a lot of things lined up to make this Christmas, and the new year, special for you, Arden. And I thank you for being with me through all of it.
Phew! Well, wasn't that just a whole bundle of sap and sentimentality cemented in molasses and served on a platter of cheesy goo. Maybe not something easy to digest. Well, to those of you who may not have much to be thankful for, I hope that you find the companionship, security, and happiness that you deserve. And to those people I may not have mentioned by name: Thank you. Thank you for everything. And thank you for what is yet to come.
Writer's Quotation of the Night:
Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
I have discovered, as an adult, that it is far, far too easy to cling to the negative aspects of life because they are so blatant and intrusive in your day to day routine. For instance, I still need more hours at my current job. My budget is still very small, which means money is tight. I'm not exactly doing much to lose weight and become healthier. I don't have a huge circle of friends. I miss the people I adore in Southern California. I don't know how I'm going to manage getting into a teaching credential program, timewise or moneywise. I'm uninspired in a lot of my writing lately, especially music-wise. And of course, my anxiety does wonders for making me worry about the most insignificant, or most unproductive, things.
So now that I've crammed the negative into one big ball of text like wadding up a piece of paper and flinging it to the side, let's look at - big shocker - what I'm thankful for.
First of all, I am thankful for my job. As you know, this year I was stung pretty badly in terms of my career path. Because of certain circumstances driving me away from my expected pattern of school jobs, my already existing guilt complex, massive and swollen as it is, has become more raw and exposed. Therefore, in my current job, when I make mistakes, I feel insanely, insanely bad for making them. Today, during Black Friday sales, I goofed on a few transactions and relayed to my coworkers how sorry I was. Their answer? Don't worry about it, because to them, I was an amazing worker.
The team I work with, along with their wonderful threshold for forgiveness and understanding, is incredible. I have never gotten along so well with any staff in my past jobs. Being at the bookstore, despite only technically working part-time, is so comfortable in so many ways due to both my crew and the customers. I couldn't be more grateful to have them in my life, and to have them mentor me as I grow and improve as a bookseller.
I am also thankful for my friends and family. Some friends and family of mine I barely see. Some friends and family I randomly communicate with online or on the phone. Some friends and family I spend time with sporadically. Yes, obviously I am not having a lot of huge hang-outs or going to parties. But the fact that I have these people in my life, either hundreds of miles away or just down the street, is great. Heck, I had two of my coworkers call themselves my friends, and it was awesome. So thank you to my buddies, as well as my relatives, my parents for being so supportive as I try to achieve independence as an adult, my brother, and of course, my sister, who I get to live with now and pester all the time! I mean, love all the time, of course. Ahem.
I'm thankful for a lot of small things, which I will mercilessly crush into one big, intimidating paragraph. I'm thankful for having a decent singing voice. I'm thankful for having skills with instruments. I'm thankful for making money and having my own apartment, living in a city in a state in a country that may have problems, but still manages to provide (some) good things to (at least some of) its people. I'm thankful for good food and good drinks and good company. I'm thankful for walks and music players and cameras. I'm thankful for nerdy things like Star Wars and Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings, and dressing up in suits and being able to express myself. I'm thankful that I can legally marry in California despite my homosexuality. I'm thankful for independent bookstores. I'm thankful for local business. I'm thankful for authors like Neil Gaiman and Albert Camus and Eavan Boland and John Green. I'm thankful that I can walk into a deli near my workplace and be greeted by name. I'm thankful for cat videos. I'm thankful for puns. I'm thankful for my fifteen-year-old dog. I'm thankful for healthcare under my parents' plan until I'm twenty-six. I'm thankful that chronic sinusitis is my only main ailment. I'm thankful for winning pool tournaments at holiday parties and being able to spend one hundred dollars at a restaurant as the grand prize. I'm thankful for my manager, and my assistant manager. I'm thankful for being able to come home every day, scour through ridiculous social networking sites and videos, and be able to collapse with a good book (or a stressful book, like Ulysses, which I will finish, I promise). I'm thankful that I have my own bed to sleep in, and someone to sleep beside.
Yes. I could not forget mo chuisle. I am thankful for my girlfriend, the love of my life, who I have now been with for two and a half years. I am looking forward to what's in store for us next, especially now that December is coming and we can safely say that it's the Christmas season without the big box stores shoving holiday cheer down our gullets like leftover mashed potatoes. I have a lot of things lined up to make this Christmas, and the new year, special for you, Arden. And I thank you for being with me through all of it.
Phew! Well, wasn't that just a whole bundle of sap and sentimentality cemented in molasses and served on a platter of cheesy goo. Maybe not something easy to digest. Well, to those of you who may not have much to be thankful for, I hope that you find the companionship, security, and happiness that you deserve. And to those people I may not have mentioned by name: Thank you. Thank you for everything. And thank you for what is yet to come.
Writer's Quotation of the Night:
Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
- Steve Martin
(Nah, I don't really believe that above quotation. Or do I?)
Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.
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