Saturday's Storyteller: "A rail spike and a horse does not a unicorn make."

by Belinda Roddie

"A rail spike and a horse does not a unicorn make."

"I know, Aaron, but that's the closest we're ever going to get to one!"

"I cannot see why it is so necessary for your friends to have a unicorn at their wedding."

"Sure you can! Unicorns are fabulous. They're fabulous. End of story."

"Pass me the Jack, John."

"Wouldn't you want a unicorn at our wedding?"

"John! Knock it off!"

"God, after all the stuff we've done together, you still get queasy about a couple of jokes."

"Okay, okay, sorry."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Okay, yes, I'd like to have a unicorn at my wedding."

"See?"

"If unicorns were real."

"Don't ruin the magic, Aaron. All you have to do is belieeeeeve."

"John."

"Belieeeeeeeeve."

"John."

"Belieeeeeeeve."

"John!"

"Whaaaaaat?"

"...you still have to pass me the Jack."

"Okay. Fine. ...So what about sequin tuxes? Should I design sequined tuxes?"

"Dude, you can't even sew a button on a jacket."

"Hey, I gotta play the role, don't I?"

"No! That's stereotypical."

"Stereotypical of what?"

"Of...you know...people like you."

"...People like me."

"Yeah."

"...You can say the word, you know. It won't hurt you."

"You know what I mean."

"Aaron."

"What."

"Say the fucking word."

"I don't have to."

"Aaron."

"Dude."

"It starts with a g..."

"John, I do not have to say the word."

"Ends with a y..."

"I do not have to say the fucking word."

"Pretty sure there's an a in there..."

"John. All I am saying is that just because you've got the hots for men doesn't mean you have to shed the boozy, cargo shorts-wearing, baseball-watching slob you are. You're good like that. You don't have to be like your flashy buddies who are getting married with rainbow streamers at their altar."

"I know, I know. Fun to pretend, though."

"Or you're just perpetuating stereotypes."

"Or people are just like that because they're like that. Besides, I'm not exactly a beer-bellied manly man. You've seen me when I play with Zelda."

"God, that cat's been getting big. You haven't put her on a bread and beer diet, have you?"

"Nope! That is aaaaallllll me, bro."

"..."

"..."

"John?"

"Yeah, dude?"

"The Jack."

"Right. Sorry. Drank a good half of it."

"You know one thing I really want at my wedding?"

"What?"

"A fuckton of alcohol."

"See? Maybe we're soulmates after all."

"Don't push it, John."

This week's prompt was provided by Daniel Bulone.