Tonight's Poet Corner: Introspection
May 19th was the third anniversary of the day my girlfriend Arden and I met. May 23rd, today, is the third anniversary of my performance at the Whiskey A Go Go with my band the Castle Town Convicts - a performance that Arden attended. Tomorrow, May 24th, is the third anniversary of when Arden and I decided to become girlfriends.
What followed was - and I can say this with utter honesty and without hyperbole - a real emotional whirlwind. Arden and I maintained a long distance relationship for two years. Throughout those two years, I went through a number of jobs, wrote two novels, got sick with mononucleosis, and continued to change as a person. For Arden, it was all about finishing college and enjoying each day of it before becoming a full-fledged adult. We were busy, anxious young women who were confident in usually just one thing - we wanted to continue being a couple, no matter how far away we were or how rarely we got to visit one another.
In June of 2013, Arden graduated from the University of California, Irvine. In September of the same year, she moved into my parents' house, where I continued to stay while working a temp job before being hired by the bookstore (my current job) in October. In November, Arden, my sister Jocelyn, and I were finally able to move into our own apartment. I have lived with Arden, technically, for nearly all four seasons. And it has been amazing.
Yes, being together physically so frequently for the first time comes with its challenges. That's what happens when you see each other every day, sleep in the same bed, and have to cope with each other's flaws that could be easily hidden from Skype or a text message or Facebook chat. But Arden and I have pulled through all that, simply because we can see and enjoy how much good we share between one another. We love each other that dearly. We'll fight for each other that fervently. There is no one else, truly, that either of us want to be with or can even picture ourselves being with.
It has been an amazing three years.
It's also been a stressful, difficult, and agonizing three years. Not because of Arden, though. Going through jobs, struggling with finances, living with my family for two years of my post-college life, and questioning my passions - none of that is easy. Arden, if anything, improved the toughest days of my life. From our conversations through video chat to our visits - wearing pirate costumes at the beach, going out for drinks, having impromptu dance parties, arranging picnics in the park, grabbing ice cream out, going on walks, having a blast at the Maker Faire, singing together, reading together, filming together, eating together, laughing together - my girlfriend found every chance to put a smile on my face when such a smile had never occurred throughout the entire day. I hope (and in the back of my mind, know) that I have done the same for her.
Soon, I will be starting my summer classes for my single subject (English) teaching credential program. According to my financial aid calculations, most if not all of my tuition per semester will be covered. That's awesome, but it also means my brain can no longer pull feeble excuses for me to back out of this. This is a huge undertaking. For most of the rest of the year, I will have no real days off. If I am not in class, I will be at work (though of course I can always ask for days off, provided they're not around Christmas time). That is, really, a very scary thought. It's hard for me to stomach. It's hard for me to believe I can survive it without cracking and withdrawing from the university halfway through the program.
But then there's Arden. She believes that I can take this on. She has the confidence that I am strong, smart, and energetic enough to push through this credential program while still working. She knows how valuable and important this experience will be for me and my future career.
She has always been there for me, even if five hundred miles away. That beautiful, talented, goofy, intelligent, witty, compassionate woman to whom I have devoted three years of my love, life, and energy. I take none of it back. I don't want to.
What follows, after this anniversary, is the next great step in our journey together as soulmates. I am looking forward to every single minute of it.
I love you, mo chuisle. And Happy Anniversary.
What followed was - and I can say this with utter honesty and without hyperbole - a real emotional whirlwind. Arden and I maintained a long distance relationship for two years. Throughout those two years, I went through a number of jobs, wrote two novels, got sick with mononucleosis, and continued to change as a person. For Arden, it was all about finishing college and enjoying each day of it before becoming a full-fledged adult. We were busy, anxious young women who were confident in usually just one thing - we wanted to continue being a couple, no matter how far away we were or how rarely we got to visit one another.
In June of 2013, Arden graduated from the University of California, Irvine. In September of the same year, she moved into my parents' house, where I continued to stay while working a temp job before being hired by the bookstore (my current job) in October. In November, Arden, my sister Jocelyn, and I were finally able to move into our own apartment. I have lived with Arden, technically, for nearly all four seasons. And it has been amazing.
Yes, being together physically so frequently for the first time comes with its challenges. That's what happens when you see each other every day, sleep in the same bed, and have to cope with each other's flaws that could be easily hidden from Skype or a text message or Facebook chat. But Arden and I have pulled through all that, simply because we can see and enjoy how much good we share between one another. We love each other that dearly. We'll fight for each other that fervently. There is no one else, truly, that either of us want to be with or can even picture ourselves being with.
It has been an amazing three years.
It's also been a stressful, difficult, and agonizing three years. Not because of Arden, though. Going through jobs, struggling with finances, living with my family for two years of my post-college life, and questioning my passions - none of that is easy. Arden, if anything, improved the toughest days of my life. From our conversations through video chat to our visits - wearing pirate costumes at the beach, going out for drinks, having impromptu dance parties, arranging picnics in the park, grabbing ice cream out, going on walks, having a blast at the Maker Faire, singing together, reading together, filming together, eating together, laughing together - my girlfriend found every chance to put a smile on my face when such a smile had never occurred throughout the entire day. I hope (and in the back of my mind, know) that I have done the same for her.
Soon, I will be starting my summer classes for my single subject (English) teaching credential program. According to my financial aid calculations, most if not all of my tuition per semester will be covered. That's awesome, but it also means my brain can no longer pull feeble excuses for me to back out of this. This is a huge undertaking. For most of the rest of the year, I will have no real days off. If I am not in class, I will be at work (though of course I can always ask for days off, provided they're not around Christmas time). That is, really, a very scary thought. It's hard for me to stomach. It's hard for me to believe I can survive it without cracking and withdrawing from the university halfway through the program.
But then there's Arden. She believes that I can take this on. She has the confidence that I am strong, smart, and energetic enough to push through this credential program while still working. She knows how valuable and important this experience will be for me and my future career.
She has always been there for me, even if five hundred miles away. That beautiful, talented, goofy, intelligent, witty, compassionate woman to whom I have devoted three years of my love, life, and energy. I take none of it back. I don't want to.
What follows, after this anniversary, is the next great step in our journey together as soulmates. I am looking forward to every single minute of it.
I love you, mo chuisle. And Happy Anniversary.
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