Tonight's Poet Corner: Introspection
Okay, first of all, it's too damn hot where I live. Freaking summer and climate change and record-breaking heat wave temperatures. Why do I have to enjoy the cold so much. Guh.
Second of all...what a week. It has been a rough, terrifying week financially, with a little bit of hope at the end.
So let me break it down: I had to pay three hundred out of a six hundred dollar car service, one hundred twenty or so dollars for new tires, and one hundred eleven dollars for various other things. Because my hours have been cut again, I did not have enough money to pull from my checking, so I had to dip into my savings. The result: My savings has five hundred dollars fewer than it did at the beginning of the week. Given the fact that I rely so heavily on my fiancée to pay rent, I was definitely less than a happy camper. I felt disappointed, dependent, inconvenient, and unhelpful to anyone around me.
It is amazing how such an object like money can do that.
The good news? I got my student loans deferred for quite a bit of time while I'm in school. This means that every month, I will be saving at least one hundred seventy six dollars to spend on groceries and other necessities. I am sincerely hoping that I'll be able to rebuild my savings, see more hours on my schedule with my bookstore continually growing its customer base, and pick up where I left off.
See, in my education class, which is all about adolescence, I study a lot about identity development and cognitive development - stuff I've already gone through myself, of course. But in all honesty, I don't think it ends when you become an adult. As a worker, future teacher, writer, potential moneymaker, and future wife, I feel like my identity, in some ways, is always evolving. Sure, some things about me will never change (and frankly, I wish I had found out sooner, in my teenage years - why weren't you in my library when I needed you, Annie On My Mind?), but other things are constantly in flux. Who I want to eventually become is a misnomer of a goal - there is no "eventually" in becoming anything. I will simply be continually developing as an adult and later (hopefully) a parent and a grandparent. That will endow me with new roles, new ideas, and new perspectives on a constantly changing world. And as a result, I will adapt and perhaps change with it. And that, my few readers, is not necessarily a bad thing.
More money would be nice, too, of course. It can't buy me everything, but it sure as Hell can pay for the essentials.
Writer's Quotation of the Night:
The true alchemists do not change lead into gold; they change the world into words.
Second of all...what a week. It has been a rough, terrifying week financially, with a little bit of hope at the end.
So let me break it down: I had to pay three hundred out of a six hundred dollar car service, one hundred twenty or so dollars for new tires, and one hundred eleven dollars for various other things. Because my hours have been cut again, I did not have enough money to pull from my checking, so I had to dip into my savings. The result: My savings has five hundred dollars fewer than it did at the beginning of the week. Given the fact that I rely so heavily on my fiancée to pay rent, I was definitely less than a happy camper. I felt disappointed, dependent, inconvenient, and unhelpful to anyone around me.
It is amazing how such an object like money can do that.
The good news? I got my student loans deferred for quite a bit of time while I'm in school. This means that every month, I will be saving at least one hundred seventy six dollars to spend on groceries and other necessities. I am sincerely hoping that I'll be able to rebuild my savings, see more hours on my schedule with my bookstore continually growing its customer base, and pick up where I left off.
See, in my education class, which is all about adolescence, I study a lot about identity development and cognitive development - stuff I've already gone through myself, of course. But in all honesty, I don't think it ends when you become an adult. As a worker, future teacher, writer, potential moneymaker, and future wife, I feel like my identity, in some ways, is always evolving. Sure, some things about me will never change (and frankly, I wish I had found out sooner, in my teenage years - why weren't you in my library when I needed you, Annie On My Mind?), but other things are constantly in flux. Who I want to eventually become is a misnomer of a goal - there is no "eventually" in becoming anything. I will simply be continually developing as an adult and later (hopefully) a parent and a grandparent. That will endow me with new roles, new ideas, and new perspectives on a constantly changing world. And as a result, I will adapt and perhaps change with it. And that, my few readers, is not necessarily a bad thing.
More money would be nice, too, of course. It can't buy me everything, but it sure as Hell can pay for the essentials.
Writer's Quotation of the Night:
The true alchemists do not change lead into gold; they change the world into words.
- William H. Gass
Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.
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