Saturday's Storyteller: "As far as first dates went, it was all right, up until the point where she pulled out her gun and began robbing the restaurant patrons."

by Belinda Roddie

As far as first dates went, it was all right, up until the point where she pulled out her gun and began robbing the restaurant patrons. While she made off with approximately twelve wallets, I was busy cramming the last of my gourmet pizza into my mouth, pulling on my jacket, and ripping my way through the shrieking mob out into the cold night air. She caught up with me quickly, out of breath and shoving the burlap sack of goods into my arms.

Naturally, I dropped the swollen bag. "Um. Nope," I mumbled. My teeth were still clogged with chunks of pepperoni and green peppers. "Not me. I'm not the right person."

"C'mon," she begged. "I'll split the amount."

When we got back to her apartment, the amount of money was meager: A good sixty bucks or so, some of it in gold dollars, from a dozen wallets. "Don't people fucking carry cash anymore?" she grumbled as she sorted through the sad pile of green and loose change. She did, however, collect the credit and debit cards in a pile.

"Let's go to every store we can find," she told me. "Splurge before they call their banks and cancel their cards."

"I really would just like to go home."

"What's the matter?" She raised an eyebrow. "You scared?"

"No," I replied. "I'm a practical person who just wanted to have a nice night out with a beautiful lady at one of my favorite pizzerias. Which, by the way, I probably can never go back to since you made me an accomplice."

"Christ, you're a buzzkill."

"And you're a thief. Go figure."

She dumped the money into her wallet and wrapped up the cards with rubber bands. "Your loss," she muttered before walking out of the apartment. I followed, but only so I could watch her drive her truck away and I began the long, steady trek home across town.

I pulled out my cellphone and looked at the phone numbers I had collected. "I knew I should have gone with Chinese food with that Stacey gal," I sighed.

This week's prompt was provided by José García.