Saturday's Storyteller: "But why would you buy pre-wilted roses?"

by Belinda Roddie

"But why would you buy pre-wilted roses?"

"Makes a statement."

"...What."

"It makes a statement."

"What statement?"

"You really want to know?"

"Yes!"

"That love is fleeting."

"..."

"That flowers are just fragile symbols of what should be deemed a more permanent and strong emotional commitment."

"..."

"Or that everything's impermanent, really, so you may as well cut to the chase and show death before it destroys beauty."

"..."

"..."

"John, that is so goth."

"I may have gone through a goth phase in my high school years."

"What? You?"

"Oh, yeah."

"How?"

"Well, you see, you find some guyliner and some torn up black jeans, and - "

"No, I mean how did you get away with being goth?"

"What, you saying a black kid can't be goth?"

"No, I didn't say that."

"Being a wee bit racist again, aren't we, Aaron?"

"That's not what I meant!"

"...To be fair, I have to give you some credit."

"Oh, yeah?"

"My buddies wanted nothing to do with me during that time."

"Look at how surprised I am."

"Shut up."

"Look at it, John."

"Look, a lot of my friends were into basketball and music and dancing. One look at me with chains on my belt and wearing a black T-shirt with a thorny rose on it, and it was all over."

"Did you try the mohawk?"

"Please. With this hair?"

"...Let's just be real here for a second, John."

"Yeah?"

"You'd only get pre-wilted roses because you can't afford actually getting legit roses."

"..."

"Wanna prove me wrong? Tell me I'm wrong."

"Hey, man. I spent my money where it counts."

"And where does it count?"

"Booze and porn, baby."

"...Did you get me any?"

"Just the booze. No porn."

"What if I want to look at it?"

"I thought you weren't into men showing their junk, bro."

"Sometimes, I forget how gay you are."

"Only because you're still in such staunch denial, Aaron."

"Fuck off."

"Hey. Watch your language, or no make-outs on Valentine's Day."

"I don't want make-outs."

"Chocolate, then?"

"...Maybe."

"Licked off my sweet chocolate body?"

"God damn it, I am drowning my sorrows in cheap wine now!"

"True love will prevail, my man!"

"And don't even think about getting me flowers!"

"But they'd look so pretty on your desk!"

"That's it. Fuck Valentine's Day."

"No, Aaron. Fuck on Valentine's Day."

"Why do I keep doing this to myself?!"

This week's prompt was provided by Arden Kilzer.