Saturday's Storyteller: "If I stare at my hands for too long, they look like cartoon hands."

by Belinda Roddie

"If I stare at my hands for too long, they look like cartoon hands."

"...What?"

"For real, dude. Like, they get all big and puffy, and if I squint real hard, my pinky melds with my ring finger."

"..."

"So like I have four fingers, man. Like Mickey Mouse or the Simpsons."

"...Okay. I know you've had a couple of shots, John. But did you sneak in some LSD when I wasn't looking?"

"Dude, how would I have snuck that past you?"

"I dunno. You could've put it in your drinks. Used a blotter paper. Got it in gelatin or something."

"Aaron."

"What?"

"For someone accusing me of taking acid, you sure sound like a expert at doing it yourself."

"What? No. No, no, no. Don't you turn this around on me!"

"Now, honey, the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one."

"Okay, one, don't call me honey. Two, I hate you. Three, I only know that much about LSD because I had to write a paper about it for physiology once when I was in high school."

"And what, that was, like, a decade ago?"

"Some memories stick, all right? And number four, I hate you."

"Ouch. Harsh, man."

"Oh, go cry into your freakishly cartoonish hands."

"Wait. You agree with me that they look like cartoons?"

"No. I'm being facetious."

"Ooh, check you out with those big words."

"Christ. Okay, forget it. Forget I said anything. Forget I even brought anything up. I'm sorry."

"..."

"..."

"You're a grumpy pants, aren't you?"

"I've never taken LSD, okay?!"

"Okay, okay, geez! I was joking."

"And I was joking when I said you took LSD!"

"I know? I was fucking with you?"

"Ho, boy..."

"You're seriously not used to this by now?"

"Shut up."

"C'mon, how long have we known each other?"

"..."

"Aaroooooon?"

"What."

"How long have we known each otheeeeeeer?"

"Don't remind me."

"Aaroooooooooooooooooooon?!"

"Almost five years, dude. All right?"

"...Hey, man. Let's celebrate."

"More shots?"

"More LSD."

"Dude."

"Now come kiss my Mickey Mouse hands."

"Dude!"

"Joking again, buddy! Take a chill pill. At least it's not addictive."

"Just pass me that bottle of vodka, all right?"

"Sure thing, Goofy! Ha-HA!"

"You're lucky I like you."

"But you said you hated me."

"Well, I changed my mind."

"Atta boy, Aaron."

"Yeah, whatever."

"...Still gonna kiss my hands?"

"No."

This week's prompt was provided by Arden Kilzer.