Today's OneWord: Major

Attention, everyone! Attention, everyone with turkey in their mouths and mashed potatoes still lumped on their plates! This is your drunk uncle Max with a major announcement. And that announcement is this: I am boycotting pants. I repeat: I am boycotting pants. Pants are the devil's garments, and my loins shall be free! Free, you hear me?!

Wait, Rita. No, don't lock me outside! I'm not done with my stuffing yet! Rita, no!

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