Saturday's Storyteller: "With enough motivation, a human being can consume an airplane."
by Belinda Roddie
With enough motivation, a human being can consume an airplane. Of course, there are several factors to consider:
1. Is the plane made mostly of aluminum, or is it crafted from titanium or steel? The modern Boeing 747 is pretty much aluminum, so we certainly see that as being more common; steel's a bit too heavy, both for a plane and on a human stomach. Considering how many cans goats can chow down on, I could see someone making a pretty big dent on the machine.
2. How big is the plane? Some planes can weigh at least 175,000 pounds. This isn't a Mega Macho Ultra Burrito eating contest at your local taqueria. You're gonna need some assistance completing that entree. But if you're going for a two-seater, maybe a Cessna, it might be more manageable. But give yourself a day or two. Or seventeen.
3. Are there passengers already seated on the plane? What about flight attendants? Is the pilot onboard? Fleshy bodies ought not to get in the way of mastication. Unless you're a cannibal, which in that case, you're a disgusting monster.
4. Do you have the willpower? No half-eaten planes allowed. They look grotesque, and you've mucked up hundreds of people's flights to New York or South Africa.
5. Oh, and can you make sure to get me those bags of peanuts or chips they serve these days? And get me the soda and alcohol, too. I know hardly any airlines serve those pre-packaged meals anymore. I may as well get some free stuff.
6. Don't ask me medical stuff, man. Just hope the lining of your stomach is as awesome as mine.
Hope this helps, my fellow pica sufferers. If airplanes don't sate your cravings, try hubcaps, bicycles, or shopping carts. Metal always gets me up in the morning; screw coffee. Mister Lotito knows what I'm talking about! Rest in peace, buddy.
Cheers,
The Inner Ironman
This week's prompt was provided by Arden Roddie.
With enough motivation, a human being can consume an airplane. Of course, there are several factors to consider:
1. Is the plane made mostly of aluminum, or is it crafted from titanium or steel? The modern Boeing 747 is pretty much aluminum, so we certainly see that as being more common; steel's a bit too heavy, both for a plane and on a human stomach. Considering how many cans goats can chow down on, I could see someone making a pretty big dent on the machine.
2. How big is the plane? Some planes can weigh at least 175,000 pounds. This isn't a Mega Macho Ultra Burrito eating contest at your local taqueria. You're gonna need some assistance completing that entree. But if you're going for a two-seater, maybe a Cessna, it might be more manageable. But give yourself a day or two. Or seventeen.
3. Are there passengers already seated on the plane? What about flight attendants? Is the pilot onboard? Fleshy bodies ought not to get in the way of mastication. Unless you're a cannibal, which in that case, you're a disgusting monster.
4. Do you have the willpower? No half-eaten planes allowed. They look grotesque, and you've mucked up hundreds of people's flights to New York or South Africa.
5. Oh, and can you make sure to get me those bags of peanuts or chips they serve these days? And get me the soda and alcohol, too. I know hardly any airlines serve those pre-packaged meals anymore. I may as well get some free stuff.
6. Don't ask me medical stuff, man. Just hope the lining of your stomach is as awesome as mine.
Hope this helps, my fellow pica sufferers. If airplanes don't sate your cravings, try hubcaps, bicycles, or shopping carts. Metal always gets me up in the morning; screw coffee. Mister Lotito knows what I'm talking about! Rest in peace, buddy.
Cheers,
The Inner Ironman
This week's prompt was provided by Arden Roddie.
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