Saturday's Storyteller: "I’m trying to perfect my shiv carving skills."

by Belinda Roddie

I’m trying to perfect my shiv carving skills.

No, Mom, not Shiva carving. Shiv carving. You know. Like the makeshift knifes that dudes use in prison.

I'm thinking of taking that broken glass pane - you know, the one the neighborhood boys broke during their game of baseball - and turning it into a beautiful weapon. Just carve that shard into a blade and make it a nice wooden and fabric wrapped handle.

No, Mom, you do not have to call the police on me. I just have strange hobbies, okay?

I mean, think about it. Cavemen made their own daggers and knives from rocks. Rocks! Like flint and limestone and shit like that. They used the resources they had available. So why can't I take that crooked beam from the bunk bed we never use anymore and transform it into a beautiful mini javelin?

There is no need to freak out, Mom.

Hmmm, maybe once I get my glass dagger finished, I can make it a nice scabbard. Ooh! And for a dual knife, I can always find metal shrapnel at the local junkyard. Boris would be happy to have me take it off his hands. He makes necklaces out of teeth, you know. Animal teeth.

Oh, that's an idea. Animal bone and teeth. I could find a fang or shinbone and make something stabby! Though bone can be brittle when left to decompose...

Yeah, Roger? Mom doesn't want me to come visit her anymore.

This week's prompt was provided by Arden Roddie.