Tonight's Poet Corner: Introspection

Wow. That was one Hell of a way to end the week. And I mean that entirely negatively. I thought things were looking up: Guess not.

Apart from the fire up north reducing air quality, and apart from a nasty cold I got, I then had to deal with what could honestly be considered a sad excuse for a "classroom coup."

I don't think I've been challenged so much as a teacher in my entire life. Or even as a person in my entire life.

I don't think I've been so questioned, or seen my words twisted so badly or taken so out of context. I say I didn't promise a student an editing job? Well, "four people" heard me promise it (even though in truth, I was just encouraging a student to work toward becoming an editor, as I'd do for anyone interested). I mention I'm tired of students mouthing off and talking back to me? I'm told that students felt "provoked" (which I guess is synonymous now with "sensitive"). Look, I don't like being a hardass, but to have my words mutilated and misconstrued beyond recognition by a group of students isn't just maddening - it's terrifying. 

I don't think I have been so disrespected before, either. Not by my regular classes, mind you. No, no. By the usual suspect.

I am shocked, honestly. They caught me at the worst time, when I was sick and disoriented and miserable. They exploited my weakest points. I caved like a wet tissue, and I recognized it immediately. I know teenagers can be manipulative, but this took both the cake and the ice cream.

It's really something, and I think it has to do with the culture. It has to do with the mentality of the class itself, something that's pervaded it since about five advisers ago. It's a mentality of entitlement, of defensiveness, of a thirst for drama. A fierce battle against critique. A complete lack of empathy. And there have really been no lasting consequences.

I got a lot of the same advice from most friends and mentors after the incident. "Go back in there and read them the Riot Act. Tell them exactly who you are, what this class is, and how the way they're behaving will not be tolerated. Boot them out. Fire everybody! You're the boss!"

Yes. I could do all of that. But my wife, in contrast to everyone else, thought differently.

She told me that doubling down on being strict and authoritative could backfire pretty badly. We were teenagers once, too - firmly believing the world, and by proxy adults, were out to get us. Perhaps showing compassion, or vulnerability, could alleviate the situation.

But I certainly don't want to be taken advantage of again. My next strategy, I believe, strikes a balance.

If these kids think they can produce this project independently, I'll let them. Sure, they'll need final approval from me and get their grades from me, but if they want to run the whole game, so be it. Let's see if they can meet deadlines. Let's see if they can keep morale up. Let's see if they can prove to me that they can do all the things they expect from each other and from their teacher.

If they're successful, fantastic. Means more autonomy, and less stress and burden on me.

And if they're not...well. Teaches them a lesson about respecting the one in charge, doesn't it?

We'll see what happens, folks. We'll see what happens.

In the meantime, I'm happy to have a week of break to rest and readjust and recover. I'll be going down to Big Bear for Thanksgiving with my wife and my in-laws so we can see my wife's sister. It'll be cold, but I've got a beautiful new coat, and I'm hoping air quality will be way better down in that area (it's been bad where I am, folks. Really, really bad).

I am a general who has lost a battle. That doesn't mean I've lost the war.

Remember that, too, whenever you face failure and need to get back onto your feet.

Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.