Saturday's Storyteller: "So you're saying it's dangerous and thrilling? Let's go!"

by Belinda Roddie

"So you're saying it's dangerous and thrilling? Let's go!"

"No, John."

"But I want to!"

"No."

"It's dangerous and thrilling!"

"John, we are not driving down to Florida to go bungee jumping and gator wrestling."

"No, Aaron. Not wrestling. Wrasslin'."

"...What."

"Wrasslin'! That's how you're supposed to say it. Otherwise, they get mad."

"...Who gets mad?"

"Florida people. Duh."

"...John, you honestly are not serious about this."

"Dude, I have always wanted to go bungee jumping."

"And I'm terrified of heights."

"And I've always liked trying new things! I mean, c'mon! Gator wrasslin'?"

"Please stop saying it like that."

"Besides, it's been ages since we've gone on vacation. I know we have savings. I know we both have vacation time. Let's fucking use it!"

"You know how much work I have to do on my projects."

"Then get Carl on 'em! Seriously, babe, I'm worried about you. You work all the time. You're always exhausted."

"I appreciate your concern, John, but I'm fine."

"No, you're not. I'm fine. Hell, I'm both fine and dandy. You need a break. C'mon. Let's go on a trip. For once."

"...I'm not going to Florida."

"Why nooooooooot?"

"Um. Because it's Florida, dude."

"I've never been to Florida!"

"Good. Let's keep it that way."

"What's wrong with it? There are beaches. There's the Everglades. There's Disney World."

"Meth addicts. The panhandle. 'Florida Man.'"

"Oh, cheer up, boo. I won't let Florida Man hurt you."

"John."

"He can take bath salts and eat someone else's face. Not yours."

"John!"

"What?"

"...If we're going to go on vacation, I don't want it to be Florida."

"Okay. Then where would you want to go?"

"...Um. Wow."

"What?"

"Huh."

"What?"

"Well, it's just...now that you're actually asking me...I don't know."

"Really?"

"Really. But I don't want to go bungee jumping."

"Awww."

"Or gator wrestling."

"Awwwww!"

"Or gator 'wrasslin',' either."

"Killjoy!"

"Nope. I just have different tastes."

"Seriously, just think about it, okay? I'll listen to you. We'll go wherever you want."

"...You serious?"

"Dead serious. I'll go anywhere. Europe, Canada, fuck, up to the next city. Let's just go somewhere, man. We need this."

"...Okay. But on a few conditions."

"Name 'em."

"One: We go somewhere with an aquarium."

"You and your love of otters."

"And walruses! They're just so big and fat and adorable."

"Those tusks, though."

"Indeed. Two: We go wine tasting."

"Oh, yeah. At least once."

"Don't go crazy. And three..."

"Yeah?"

"We get a hotel room with an ocean view. Where we can see the sunset. I'd like that a lot."

"..."

"...What?"

"You are such a fucking sap."

"Oh, go drink yourself stupid."

"You're so sappy!"

"Leave me alone, man!"

"Okay, I'm gonna look for places that meet all your criteria. Then we'll talk. All right?"

"...All right. Let's do it."

"Yeeeeeees! Go get those vacation days!"

"Okay, hon. Sure."

"...And get yourself a singlet."

"Why."

"'Cause we're gonna be wrasslin' something."

"No, we are not!"

"Not even snakes?"

"What."

"If you know what I mean?"

"I regret this very much!"

This week's prompt was provided by Rachel Drakon.