Tonight's Poet Corner: Introspection
Another week down. Good week overall - bit exhausting. I don't want to go too much into my work, but let's just say I love my classes, even though I'm looking forward to a week off.
I really like the school I work at. I like the students. I like the faculty. I like the pay and benefits. When I started working as a teacher, I was told things had gotten better since the pink slips that were handed out like candy to teachers when I went to high school. That there'd be shortages and what not. But...that doesn't seem to be the case.
I want to keep my job. I just don't know what my future holds now. It's sad, really - not anxiety-inducing, not angering. Just sad. I feel guilty that the career I've chosen isn't consistent, that I may be forced to hop from school to school as budget crises and underfunding and all that muck get in the way of me being able to stay in one place. It's jarring, and it causes a lot of stress. But I'm just...sad.
I hope I stay. I know people want me to stay. But that specter of a pink slip is looming over me like a goddamn poltergeist. Most likely, this will be the first year ever that I will be what they call RIF'd. There's no guarantee I won't be rehired, but there's no guarantee that I will be. It's all...ambiguous right now. For everyone. There are no clear answers.
Where can I go if I can't stick with this amazing school? Where's equally as competitive? Will I have to move further away from my family? My friends? My loved ones?
And that's really the heart of it. I cannot afford to stay in the bay area as a teacher if my wife and I want a house and a family. But there's not really anywhere else that's better. Educators are grossly underpaid; we know this. That won't change for a long time. It may not change ever. That's the reality of it; I didn't start teaching for the money, after all.
Still, there are things and people that keep me calm and sane and happy. My coworkers. My students. My family. My wife. Listening to stories (I've been on a Harlan Ellison bend again. As much as he was a jerkwad, his novelette, "Paladin of the Lost Hour," is excellent) helps me write. I'm working on a short story I'll be posting tomorrow, and I'm excited for it. I think it's even better than "And It Is Fragile," which I adapted into a...well, an okay play.
There's a lot up in the air; uncertainty's a bitch that way. But then again, isn't everything in life uncertain?
Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.
I really like the school I work at. I like the students. I like the faculty. I like the pay and benefits. When I started working as a teacher, I was told things had gotten better since the pink slips that were handed out like candy to teachers when I went to high school. That there'd be shortages and what not. But...that doesn't seem to be the case.
I want to keep my job. I just don't know what my future holds now. It's sad, really - not anxiety-inducing, not angering. Just sad. I feel guilty that the career I've chosen isn't consistent, that I may be forced to hop from school to school as budget crises and underfunding and all that muck get in the way of me being able to stay in one place. It's jarring, and it causes a lot of stress. But I'm just...sad.
I hope I stay. I know people want me to stay. But that specter of a pink slip is looming over me like a goddamn poltergeist. Most likely, this will be the first year ever that I will be what they call RIF'd. There's no guarantee I won't be rehired, but there's no guarantee that I will be. It's all...ambiguous right now. For everyone. There are no clear answers.
Where can I go if I can't stick with this amazing school? Where's equally as competitive? Will I have to move further away from my family? My friends? My loved ones?
And that's really the heart of it. I cannot afford to stay in the bay area as a teacher if my wife and I want a house and a family. But there's not really anywhere else that's better. Educators are grossly underpaid; we know this. That won't change for a long time. It may not change ever. That's the reality of it; I didn't start teaching for the money, after all.
Still, there are things and people that keep me calm and sane and happy. My coworkers. My students. My family. My wife. Listening to stories (I've been on a Harlan Ellison bend again. As much as he was a jerkwad, his novelette, "Paladin of the Lost Hour," is excellent) helps me write. I'm working on a short story I'll be posting tomorrow, and I'm excited for it. I think it's even better than "And It Is Fragile," which I adapted into a...well, an okay play.
There's a lot up in the air; uncertainty's a bitch that way. But then again, isn't everything in life uncertain?
Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.
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