Saturday's Storyteller: Pizza

by Belinda Roddie

Oh, look at the time! I gotta get some pizza! Now, what should I get on it?

Pepperoni, of course. Gotta get me some sweet pepperoni. And mushrooms.

So I order it. And I eat it. And I guess the mushrooms got mixed up. This is some pubescent pizza boy's stash, yo.

Because I trip, peoples.

I trip balls.

I feel the room closing in and time seeming to go backwards. It's like I'm sucked into a void that holds me in a place, pulling a glob of pizza out of my mouth half-chew. Disney World's Space Mountain's got nothing on this, bro. The tunnel is deeper than this. Waaaaaaaay deeper.

I am an accidental stoner in a fucking crazy world nightmare. And that's when I see what could have been.

The flames.

There are so many flames.

I'm sitting on my couch, thinking about what I want to eat. I choose Thai food. I choose this.

I weighed this heavily, apparently. I was thinking Thai was the answer. And then I see the flames.

Everything is on fire.

Who knew the curry was so spicy?

Who knew the take-out container was so flammable?

Who knew the curry remake would destroy the entire restaurant?

Kill dozens?

Hundreds, even?

The entire strip mall is laid bare.

It is, truly, just a strip.

A bacon strip.

Extra crispy.

So much for the new Hot Topic.

So much for the dry cleaners that have been there for fifty years.

So much for my fiancee.

My dear fiancee.

She was picking up my dress.

For the dance.

Why, Felicia?

WHYYYYYY?

But I chose pizza.

I chose pizza.

And that made all the difference. That saved dozens. Hundreds. My fiancee. My beloved fiancee.

And then the trip is over.

And I come to.

I blink.

At least the pepperoni's good.

And I take another bite.

This week's prompt was provided by Jocelyn Morton and Nina Callahan, who also collaborated with me on the story itself. Yay.