Tonight's Poet Corner: Introspection

This year, I want to build more bridges than I burn.

I want to make more friends than I lose.

I want to finish more stories than I leave incomplete.

And I want to help more students than I leave in the lurch.

I finished my first full remote semester as a high school teacher. I restarted readings with my theatre company. I also have really gotten into cosplay, Dungeons & Dragons, and filming that involves new characters and storylines. It's very different than I anticipated myself doing in my thirties, but it's really, really worthwhile, and my preteen self would be squeeing right now.

It's weird because I have affirmation from one new group and negativity from whom I've perceived to be close family. Because of that, it's hard for me to accept or even acknowledge my positive qualities. I dunno. I have a lot to process. And I've been pretty exhausted, so that's been hard.

I think what's been really difficult is the fact that while some people appreciate my openness, others don't want to hear any of it. My attempts to vocalize my thoughts are misconstrued as something as outlandish as, "They act like they're the most important person in the room," which couldn't be further from the truth. But if I let my self-esteem hit a nadir, I don't have the support circle I need to be candid and approachable. I get that I can't please everyone, but the question really is: Who can I please by simply being myself?

So yeah. It's a lot to navigate. And I want to be happy. I know, I know - that ain't always gonna happen. Maybe I just want to feel...rested. Focused. Centered.

But of course, there's no rest for the wicked. So on to a new semester on Tuesday.

Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.