My Cardboard Balcony

Oh, man, well, I'd say this was a decent week! I made it through another five days of work, got to see friends, got some writing done, spent some time with my wonderful wife, and hey, I get to go to my in-laws' annual Halloween party!  And  I don't think I have to worry about the presidential election anymore! Yay! (Checks latest election news) (Inhale) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.

Missus Dragon's Ailment by Belinda Roddie "I don't feel good," she wheezed, coughing up a fireball.

"Excuse me," I heard a small voice squeak from behind me. "Excuse me!" When I looked down, I saw a tiny old lady, no taller than four feet, her frizzy white hair starkly contrasting with her brown skin. She was gesturing wildly at a large box at her feet - a new TV? A desktop computer? - and shivering in the rain. "Could you lift this into my car for me?" she asked. "My arthritis is acting up something awful."

I Bought A Beer by Belinda Roddie I bought a beer for Jessica that night and watched quietly as she chugged it down, the froth on her lip like a mustache. Right as she finished, she burped and dug around in her purse for a breath mint. Then she said, "I feel antsy. Join me for the next dance." I took her hand. Her face was flush and red, but as she moved, the patrons were entranced by the strange choreography we made together. Then she bought a shot for me, and I fired it back like a booze grenade. When we kissed, I could taste the ecstasy like licorice on her tongue. My mouth ached against hers, dwelling on my new mistake.

No update on the OneWord website today. Again. What can ya do?

Verboten In The Fifties by Belinda Roddie Here's how the scene is set: You arrive in your pink Mustang, wearing your father's leather jacket, your hair slicked up so high that it's almost touching Heaven. I'll sashay down from my room in my knee-length skirt, craving milkshakes and banana splits that I'll only share with you. We'll tell everyone that Bobby from math class gave me the hickeys, or that Sherman from biology got crazy with me in the drive-thru. Just make sure that you wipe off all the lipstick from your shirt when I'm done with you, and I'll be sure not to dig my nails into the backseat cushions of your car after I've pounced on you like a fan trying to attack Elvis at one of his concerts. If they find out, we'll be institutionalized, I guarantee it. I'm not interested in wearing a white gown in a white room, and I don't think we want lobotomies or to succumb to electroshock therapy. Maybe one day, we...

Three thieves broke into the Lancaster Inn around two o'clock in the morning - only to be chased out of the vicinity by a furious fifty-three-year-old woman brandishing a broken vacuum cleaner like an overgrown club. I would know; I witnessed the whole thing from the lobby, after I had fetched a bucket of ice so my wife and I could enjoy a bottle of champagne. By the time the police arrived, they found the burglars hiding in the parking lot, of all places, as if enormous trucks and vans could block them from everyone else's view.