My Cardboard Balcony

Cycle by Belinda Roddie Tonight is the new moon: Together, we will celebrate by cooking dinner, drinking out of martini glasses, and cuddling on the worn out couch. We can't see the lunar disc, but we know it's there - waiting to be spun on the turntable of the night sky. A concealed vinyl with stars too far away to serve as needles in its grooves.

Fun For The Whole Family by Belinda Roddie I made up a new game: It's called, "Existential Crisis."

Knowledge Is Power by Belinda Roddie I was today years old when I discovered why Triscuit is called Triscuit - that George Harrison was the one who did that popular cover of Rudy Clark's "Got My Mind Set On You" - that cucumber doesn't taste that bad in sushi if you just pretend it isn't there - that white lesbians shouldn't use the word stud because it belongs to working class African-American lesbians, so just call yourself dyke or butch, for Gay Christ's sake - and that I can no longer tell the difference between skunk smell and the odor of some seriously dank weed. Quarantine may be a bitch, but I'm learnin' every day!

The Great Hunter by Belinda Roddie No lizard can withstand the chittering of the ebony feline.

Birthday Doughnut by Belinda Roddie All it takes is a maple bar, three candles, and a dream. Make a wish, bro - I swear you blew out those candles all the way from Wagon Wheel Virginia. Now that you've reached boring adult phase one, may I remind you that by starting your back troubles early, you get a gold star? Go ahead and stick it onto the bulletin board you'll soon use for grocery lists, baby shower invitations, and contact information for the chiropractor. We're all thirty together, friend, and once we reconvene, the blood sacrifice will begin again. So we can all stay thirty save for one of us, who will disintegrate like dust into the old tomb we've traveled to. We'll celebrate with beers before our hangovers get too nasty. And we'll eat doughnuts. Lots and lots of doughnuts. Because we, and our metabolisms, no longer give a shit. 2009 memories, my dude. Happy 30th!

Hair Problems by Belinda Roddie "You look like a cockatoo." "Am I a sexy cockatoo?"

It Finally Happened by Belinda Roddie As a boring adult, I discuss property taxes and sciatica.