My Cardboard Balcony

Sparkle Motion by Belinda Roddie My neighbor decided that one Honda emblem just wasn't enough.

It Was A Long, Gay Trip by Belinda Roddie The train has arrived; I have your ticket here. We'll sleep in the same car and dream about boats and airplanes. We'll eat eggs benedict and drink mimosas and pretend to be classy, all while knowing that the stop we get off on will lead to a cottage where we'll tend a garden, fetch and boil our own water, and avoid the Internet as if our lives depend on it. If you're tired, I'll carry you aboard. The conductor won't mind; in fact, I think she'll find it adorable. Just before we start nodding off for the night, she'll sit in our car with us and regale us with the story of the time her now wife got a piggyback ride down the whole train and back "just because."

Noble Cosmos by Belinda Roddie If I catch a fallen star, I'll make a crown.

Fuck Huck by Belinda Roddie Roger "Huck" Fields was a beer bellied, shotgun-toting, fever dreaming, conspiracy theory swigging, moonshine brewing, Confederate flag waving, racist and sexist and homophobic son of a bitch. Nobody in his neighborhood liked him, and damn well they shouldn't. Fuck Huck. I don't care if he dotes on his two admittedly adorable slobbering pit bulls. I couldn't give less of a shit that he volunteers at the soup kitchen every Sunday. I do not applaud the sob story he gives about his father pinching pennies to give his family a good life. His dad inherited five hundred million from his great-uncle. Fuck Huck. Fuck that guy. He just pretends he's a down-to-earth, hands-on, blue collar kind of guy when in truth, he's never had to work a single job in his life and will be buried in a golden fucking coffin with all his firearms and boa constrictor chains of ammunition. He uses the n-word. He disowned his gay daughter. He divorced two wiv...

Island Hopping by Belinda Roddie Time to catch bugs, go fishing, and chop down bamboo.

My Wife Tricked Me by Belinda Roddie I never go fishing unless I get to catch hammerhead sharks in a video game

"Boo!" Cried The Brass by Belinda Roddie Watch out! The eerie tuba player's creeping up behind you!