Tonight's Poet Corner: Introspection

Not another good end of the week. Guess it's just the way life goes. You have your ups, and you have your downs. A lot of downs, actually.


I had a pet care interview and it was awful. Embarrassing, in fact. The ad didn't say it was for an odd job. Then I was told I was not selected for an interview regarding the instructional aide job I applied for last week. Even better. Finally, the doctor said I'm dealing with something called eustachian tube failure, explaining why I have had chronic ear congestion and sinus pressure for almost a year now.

It has been very difficult for me to get into the Christmas spirit this year. I just feel like a total downer at the moment. I'm losing a lot of optimism, and I blame most of it on the rude awakening I've received regarding what my life's going to be like for a while. I try to talk with people, especially my family and friends, but I think for some of them it's getting old fast. Meaning I'm left with a lot of emotions and thoughts that really aren't so easy to juggle.

I know writers go through parts of their lives having blocks or not exactly being enthused by their situations. I want to be able to write every night without feeling like it's forced, and I know how unrealistic that is. I guess maybe it's because this year, so much happened to me, so much good. I came out of the closet, I made great friends while keeping the old ones, I have a supportive and loving family. And I found my beautiful, beautiful girlfriend, who I've been with for over six months.

But so much of what I love is five hundred miles away, and so much of what I want to do is out of reach. All I can do is dwell on the good and try to get into the holiday spirit. Tomorrow I'll be getting a Christmas tree with my family. We'll get to decorate it on the same day, with Christmas music playing on the stereo. So that will be nice, as it's one of my favorite parts of the holiday season. And then next Saturday, I'll be in San Francisco with my girlfriend. The lights will be up, and the big tree in Union Square. I'll get to wear my heavy coat and scarf.  And I'll get into the spirit of things and maintain a sharp awareness of the good things in my life besides the bad.

I have so much going for me in my life and I don't like whining about the bad, or being overly idealistic and wanting to take everyone and everything I love and put them all in one place for me to enjoy. I guess all I can do is remember. And push forward. And keep working. Because there really isn't much else I can do besides remind myself of how wonderful my life is, no matter what challenges I face now or in the future.

Man, these introspection times are turning more into venting times, aren't they? Guess that's what happens when you think too much. Time for recommendations:

Recommended Book: Any edition of the complete works of William Shakespeare
You heard me.

Recommended Poet: Any Olde English poetry
I got a book of Olde English poetry from my girlfriend when she visited me after Thanksgiving. So it's on the brain.

Recommended Music: Any Celtic traditional music
No, I'm not being lazy with my recommendations. I'm just being broad.

Recommended Drink before Bed: Hot Cider
Again, not cheating - I never mentioned hot cider! Neh!

Writer's Quotation of the Night:

The skill of writing is to create a context in which other people can think.
- Edwin Schlossberg

Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.

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