Tonight's Poet Corner: Haley Had Crabs

Haley Had Crabs
by Belinda Roddie

Haley had crabs crawling all over the
place, and try as she might, she couldn't
get them back in the bucket so she could
take them back to her father's seafood
shop so they could sell the pesky old
crustaceans. Oh, I'm sorry, were you
thinking of something else? I should have suspected,
because perceptions about Haley revolve a lot around
who she slept with the night before. Truth be told, she
couldn't give half of a shit about your assumptions, so
you may as well buy a crab from her father, maybe
two, maybe three, to cook for her in order to
make up for your gutter-dwelling, chain-smoking,
bourbon-drinking, finger-wanking mind.