Friday's Whims of the Time Traveler 9.1: September 2009
Writing Exercise #1
by Belinda Roddie
Epistolary – 249 words
Dear Peter,
I don’t remember what happened the night before, or how you had offered me to drink. I don’t remember if we told any stories, or sang loudly to the songs on your iPod. I don’t even remember the guests you must’ve invited and introduced me to.
But most importantly, I do not remember the woman that I saw when I stumbled off the bus this afternoon, my head screaming at me asking why, why did I have to get up from Peter’s oh-so-comfortable linoleum floor. Peter, who the fuck was that woman who smiled at me? And why did she tell that she had “such a hot time at your friend’s house the other night”?
I mean, Peter, what the fuck did you convince me to do with this woman?
Look, I’m a man who loves his Bacardi. I’ll admit that right now. But you know that no matter how shit-faced I could possibly get, it has taken and always will take an excessive amount of teasing or probing to get me to snuggle up with the closest red-headed girl I see. You know how picky I am about my woman, Peter, and guess what? The girl I saw at the bus stop? She’s fucking blonde. I mean, did you put me on a medieval torture rack to get me talking to her? Come to think of it, why am I even e-mailing you? I’m gonna call you as soon as I send this e-mail!
- Richard
Experimental – 249 words
710 north to san francisco, north –
stop. look.
710 –
no. stop.
cease.
desist.
dictionaries are useful.
710 north to san francisco no STOP CEASE DESIST i need to stop reading dictionaries.
710. stop.
no. the bus stopped. i didn’t stop. i never stop. i always move.
move it move it move it move it move it move it move it move it – shit!
Roddie/Writing Exercise #1/3
710 laughs. 710 south now.
no. stop. stop. do you see her? she saw you stumble.
more like stumbling out of the 666 – wait no STOP. i never stop i never cease I never desist –
Oh. Hi.
Hello.
You smiled at me.
I know.
Do I know you?
stop stop stop stop stop stop stop move it move it move it
Do you want to say something?
Sorry. You made me giggle.
Why?
It reminded me of someone.
Who?
Of Charlie Chaplin.
Who?
stop. stare. WAIT,
WAIT that’s an unfamiliar word. why haven’t I looked it up in a dictionary before?
let me check my thesaurus – smile.
by Belinda Roddie
Epistolary – 249 words
Dear Peter,
I don’t remember what happened the night before, or how you had offered me to drink. I don’t remember if we told any stories, or sang loudly to the songs on your iPod. I don’t even remember the guests you must’ve invited and introduced me to.
But most importantly, I do not remember the woman that I saw when I stumbled off the bus this afternoon, my head screaming at me asking why, why did I have to get up from Peter’s oh-so-comfortable linoleum floor. Peter, who the fuck was that woman who smiled at me? And why did she tell that she had “such a hot time at your friend’s house the other night”?
I mean, Peter, what the fuck did you convince me to do with this woman?
Look, I’m a man who loves his Bacardi. I’ll admit that right now. But you know that no matter how shit-faced I could possibly get, it has taken and always will take an excessive amount of teasing or probing to get me to snuggle up with the closest red-headed girl I see. You know how picky I am about my woman, Peter, and guess what? The girl I saw at the bus stop? She’s fucking blonde. I mean, did you put me on a medieval torture rack to get me talking to her? Come to think of it, why am I even e-mailing you? I’m gonna call you as soon as I send this e-mail!
- Richard
Experimental – 249 words
710 north to san francisco, north –
stop. look.
710 –
no. stop.
cease.
desist.
dictionaries are useful.
710 north to san francisco no STOP CEASE DESIST i need to stop reading dictionaries.
710. stop.
no. the bus stopped. i didn’t stop. i never stop. i always move.
move it move it move it move it move it move it move it move it – shit!
Roddie/Writing Exercise #1/3
710 laughs. 710 south now.
no. stop. stop. do you see her? she saw you stumble.
more like stumbling out of the 666 – wait no STOP. i never stop i never cease I never desist –
Oh. Hi.
Hello.
You smiled at me.
I know.
Do I know you?
stop stop stop stop stop stop stop move it move it move it
Do you want to say something?
Sorry. You made me giggle.
Why?
It reminded me of someone.
Who?
Of Charlie Chaplin.
Who?
stop. stare. WAIT,
WAIT that’s an unfamiliar word. why haven’t I looked it up in a dictionary before?
let me check my thesaurus – smile.
grin smirk sneer show some gums flash some teeth some pearly whites 32 muscles 710 north of san francisco – wait, no, stop!
thesaurus – stop. wait is not a synonym for stop. i’m not not used to this.
she’s still there. Waiting. 710 bus south to san Francisco.
You’re still smiling.
I know.
Was it really that funny?
Maybe.
i smile.
move it move it move it move it
710’s gone now –
wait.
Comic – 250 words
I was ten minutes late for work. Ten minutes, twenty seconds. No, twenty-one, twenty-three – if you think I’m a mad man, then you’re wrong.
I caught a bus to Rafael that was actually a bus to Larkspur that was actually re-routed to San Anselmo that decided, fuck it, go to Rafael. I had even gotten out of bed early. The bus system had always been fucked up around here. And there were too many goddamn babies on every single bus I took.
I was twelve minutes late by the time the bus actually got to its original destination. Forty-one seconds. Forty-two. Forty-three. The boss was gonna kill me. Why couldn’t I just have a job in Novato so I could just ride my bike to work every day? I’d even attach a bell to the handlebars and ring it as I rode and say hello. I’d be Mister fucking Sunshine if I didn’t have to commute.
I stumbled off the bus. And by stumbled, I mean I caught my foot on a step and nearly somersaulted off the thing. I half-expected applause and whistling and maybe a rose thrown in my face, thorn-first. I was an acrobat; all I needed was a trapeze.
I heard someone laugh. Great, I thought, now I’m a clown. But I turned around saw her, grinning ear to ear like I was a Youtube viral video. She’d have to find another source of entertainment; I was going to work before I got the guillotine.
thesaurus – stop. wait is not a synonym for stop. i’m not not used to this.
she’s still there. Waiting. 710 bus south to san Francisco.
You’re still smiling.
I know.
Was it really that funny?
Maybe.
i smile.
move it move it move it move it
710’s gone now –
wait.
Comic – 250 words
I was ten minutes late for work. Ten minutes, twenty seconds. No, twenty-one, twenty-three – if you think I’m a mad man, then you’re wrong.
I caught a bus to Rafael that was actually a bus to Larkspur that was actually re-routed to San Anselmo that decided, fuck it, go to Rafael. I had even gotten out of bed early. The bus system had always been fucked up around here. And there were too many goddamn babies on every single bus I took.
I was twelve minutes late by the time the bus actually got to its original destination. Forty-one seconds. Forty-two. Forty-three. The boss was gonna kill me. Why couldn’t I just have a job in Novato so I could just ride my bike to work every day? I’d even attach a bell to the handlebars and ring it as I rode and say hello. I’d be Mister fucking Sunshine if I didn’t have to commute.
I stumbled off the bus. And by stumbled, I mean I caught my foot on a step and nearly somersaulted off the thing. I half-expected applause and whistling and maybe a rose thrown in my face, thorn-first. I was an acrobat; all I needed was a trapeze.
I heard someone laugh. Great, I thought, now I’m a clown. But I turned around saw her, grinning ear to ear like I was a Youtube viral video. She’d have to find another source of entertainment; I was going to work before I got the guillotine.
The work you see here was a writing exercise from a course I took in college called "Writing the Novel." It has not been edited nor modified since September of 2009.
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